yeodawg Reviews

Annihilator (1986 TV Movie)

Charies Angels mixed with Terminaotr mysoginistic and Feminist.

[10/10 · 11 November 2020]

So they said lets do a Terminator TV show, but instead of hulking muscle massed Cyborgs they're actually hot chicks indstead. And every week will bring iin 2-3 hot new girls and the guy will have to suss out of thier Aliens Cybrgs or not and destroy them all while being hunted by the Police and "WOKE" cyborgs.

Well number one at the time the working droids and make up had to be expensive as all. plus your pretty much wasching domestic violence, as this guy going to be beating these women into a metal bloody pulp every week. And the molds and half-droid as these women are destroyed piece by piece, is goona be a hot dragg mess.

Dead Man Down (2013)

A revenge flick for those suffering from PTSD

[10/10 · 25 July 2013]

WWE studios has decided to body-slam the Independent Film Market buy putting out these quite thrilling suspenseful sleepers. If the cast of this Revenge Flick were to cut a WWE promo, they wouldn't make eye-contact with the Camera just whisper threats off camera. This low=key revenge flick features several cohorts of henchmen jockeying for position while one of their own methodically takes them out one by one. it never builds into a big crescendo to a climax, just some calmness and clarity during the chaos. Several times the protagonist comes home to find his boss and his henchman in his house, and you're left wondering is this it, is this the time he kills him.

The Day (I) (2011)

Cut throat lil girls survive to becomes decapitating women

[10/10 · 24 July 2013]

This is a WWE film. The people on the Cover (AVATAR) of the movie are actually the bad guys, and the description describes them. In the same mysterious apocalyptic catastrophe that effected "The Road" and "HELL" a group of scavengers descends on an Abandoned Farm House. They trigger some booby traps that alert them in this world, with Cut-Throat lil' girls who grow into decapitating young women, they realize the house was bait and they're prey and the predators are on their way. instead of escaping they decide to hold off and fight them off. The bodies start to pile-up more than enough for cannibals to feed on and fight anther day. But instead they don't want food they want murder kill em all. on one side a charismatic cult leader on the other a desperate bands of strangers both knowing they have to kill the other so they don't have to look over their shoulder.

This is a WWE film, a disturbing WWE film. You expect them to grab a wrestler say he's a scientistiifc experiment or alien commando, then grab another wrestler and chase him down,some side effects car chase movies over. this was actually a thought provoking mess of a movie that you never knew which way it was going.This is a WWE film. The people on the Cover (AVATAR) of the movie are actually the bad guys, and the description describes them. In the same mysterious apocalyptic catastrophe that effected "The Road" and "HELL" a group of scavengers descends on an Abandoned Farm House. They trigger some booby traps that alert them in this world, with Cut-Throat lil' girls who grow into decapitating young women, they realize the house was bait and they're prey and the predators are on their way. instead of escaping they decide to hold off and fight them off. The bodies start to pile-up more than enough for cannibals to feed on and fight anther day. But instead they don't want food they want murder kill em all. on one side a charismatic cult leader on the other a desperate bands of strangers both knowing they have to kill the other so they don't have to look over their shoulder.

This is a WWE film, a disturbing WWE film. You expect them to grab a wrestler say he's a scientific experiment or alien commando, then grab another wrestler and chase him down,some side effects car chase movies over. this was actually a thought provoking mess of a movie that you never knew which way it was going.

Warrior Queen (2003 TV Movie)

Docu-Dramas are better than this.

[2/10 · 29 June 2013]

The first scene with Alex Kingston kneeling at a stream brandishing her sword at the Camera, then telling them not to run from her scary presents. That lets you now how Bogus the film is and her acting is. Fist off all she does is squint her eyes look constipated and snarl her way through this cheesy dialog. The rest of the cast of English Actors does an excellent job though. I've seen several Documentaries on the subject and I know clothing and equipping a Roman army is an expensive feat especially for a movie. However most hire a troop of re-en actors who show up with their own amror. No re-en actors would've been caught dead in this gear they could'nt even afford to have backs to their chest pieces.

They tried to make BOUDICCA an Action Adventure queen and placed some good scenes like her standing in front a burning roman encampment burning behind her while freed slaves escape in front of her. But they should've spent more time sticking to the Roman Accounts of her instead of justifying her slaughtering whole Roman villages.

The Hamiltons (2006)

I didn't like it until I saw the Thompsons

[10/10 · 5 February 2013]

A Zombie film is about Humans trying to survive while demons are hunting them down. A Vampire film is about Demons trying to survive in a human society, while Humans are hunting them down. The Thompson's are one of those Creepy 1970's vampire films. Y'know some creepy dude attacks a girl, then it goes back to his big castle. It then becomes slow-paced, as things come to a head, and they attack the castle. Well you take away the creepy castle and you have these nomadic goobers. The Hamiltons dispatch their first victims rather unceremoniously. And you're left wondering are these some back wood serial cannibal/serial killer. One brother is trying to fit in, get a job. 2 others love the life they live, but how long until the local yokels put one and one together.

The Dead Next Door (1989)

M.A.S.H. with Zombies

[10/10 · 6 December 2012]

The Boyz are part of a Zombie Eradication Squad cleans and sweeps houses for survivors of the Zombie Apocalypse, which is in full swing. Adorned in Top Gun Flight suits aviator glasses they are based in a front line surgical hospital where they crack sardonic jokes with the doctors there. The doctors and their orderlies are there to look for a cure to the Zombie Apocalypse. We get a glimpse of their daily grind as a Z.E.S. when they are called out to save survivors who showed up to protest the outright shooting of Zombies are attacked by said Zombies. In one of their patrols they run into a Cult of Survivors that Worship the Zombies and consider them the next step in the evolution of man.

The hardest part of the movie is suspending all tactical and Zombie knowledge you have to date. This movie came out before "COPS" where we could see more tactful proficiency in middle-aged balding beer bellied cop clearing out a basement for a teen-age runaway than this squad clearing out a house. I was tearing my hair out as they're shuffling around with 3-4 cross-slung long barreled guns instead of a 45 and a Katana.

[REC] 3: Genesis (2012)

A disappointing regular Zombie Movie, a sad addition to the REC franchise.

[3/10 · 22 November 2012]

As a big fan of the REC (QUARANTINE) franchise I have grown accustomed to a slow gradual taking over the rabies Zombie infection. And the trailer promised me a gradual take over of the wedding until all that's left is the Bride and her chainsaw. So the movie starts lovely wedding and the Uncle complains about a bleeding dog bite. Finally after you get to like and know the characters the infected uncle bites his wife in the big filled BAALROOM. Now this is where people start getting infected trying to figure out what's going on until they realize the infected are turning people into zombies. No! three husky infected guests come cartwheeling into the ballroom and everyone runs for their life. An hour later the last of the survivors make their way into the ballroom, and there are still uninfected Brides maids running through it being chased by the infected. Whuh? Where were they hiding the last hour Anne Frank, behind the curtains? The champagne waterfall? It basically comes down to the TITANIC with Zombies instead of icebergs.

Now as a fan of REC, I knew that they were headed for a lot of religious references they were scattered all over REC2. Some of my favorite Asian directors put in a lot of Christian references so I'm used to it. So they bring up this whole St. GEORGE thing and the hero is literally running around in a suit of Armor trying to save his wife from the Dragons. However when she began to turn into a Dragon (infected) He should've in keeping with the story, and shoved the sword through him and her so he their unborn child and wife can all die with pure blood instead of infected.

The Dead Matter (2010)

I hate to give a good ranking for this unwatchable movie.

[8/10 · 28 October 2012]

I could barely sit through the mandatory 30 Minutestes of this drivel, but still I have to give it high marks. First star goes to the fact that the movie is called DEAD MATTER and it opens with a town under siege by well made up zombies. In the middle of the Zombie Apacolypse are two Sabre Wielding Zombie Slayers. The Sabre wielding Zombie Slayers turn into Wooden Stake impaling Vampire hunters as they are in pursuit of a magic Amulete. Although one vampire over-lord has a cheap wig and horrible fangs, the actor who plays him already has a couple of Horror movie franchise under his belt already. He kills humans turning them into Zombies, technically ghouls to do his bidding. the other vampire overlord a veteran of the remake of Night of the living dead (which explains why the Zombies were so well done) drugs his fellow vamps to do his bidding. However the actress playing the women in distress is so horrible she brings the movie down.

Bad Ass (2010)

I liked it, I could only watch 30minutes of it, but I liked it.

[8/10 · 14 October 2012]

Julia plays the damsel, a private nurse sent in third shift to care for an aging Godfather. Julia is in the room when a hit man Carrado kills the Godfather. He decided to show her mercy and let her live. But that's short-lived as now the hotheaded Godson Paolo and his head henchman Tommaso believes she set the Godfather up and are going to execute her, so now she is in distress. The Hit-man with the heart of gold sweeps in to rescue the Damsel in Distress. Paolo now in charge dispatches his legion of Goons to hunt down and kill the duo. Three things I liked; the cast was dragged up from Celebrity Rehab (sober house) and Sopranos of course. This meant these guys weren't slumming they were lucky to get the gig. There was a lot of add-libbing, at one point Tom Sizemore asks Frank Stallone if he has any coke because there has to be something better than Whiskey just to drink. I don't know if this was a scripted line or not, but Sizemore MEANT IT! There was a Tarratinoesque scene where the Goons are cackling and giggling as they pin a victim to a garbage can. The Hessian hit man over dramatically tries to play too cool silent killer. However his threats can't be heard over the cracking and teasing of the Neanderthal thugs. THE REASON I only watched 30minutes is because the heroine was atrocious. She's had so much cosmetic Surgery her face is transforming into the cat woman face. All that cosmetic surgery and not one cent spent on her breasts unless she had them reduced. I didn't want to see her naked, and what's the use in watching these movies, if you don't want to see the Damsel in distress, naked?

Call of the Undead (2012)

Police vs. Gangsterz vs. Zombies.

[8/10 · 16 September 2012]

This was an awesome Asian Zombie movie. A Zombie plague has taken over and the TV warns everybody to evacuate the city. The Local gang-members don't watch the news, so when they see the cops storm-trooping down the street with full battle-rattle it's game on! And in the middle of the shoot-out here comes the un-dead. In the opening scene they borrow from 28days later, and Zombie land. The serial killer who does well in the zombie Apocalypse with his dungeon is from "COLLIN". "Big-Budget Zombie Film" film that borrowed from "Lil-budget Zombie Films". But borrowing is part of the Zombie Genre the problem is they didn't expand on it, and they had the money, casts, extras, and rolling sets to do so. I would've loved for the Cops to be in full Zombie elimination not Evacuate the city mode. The Cops and Gang-members join up to defeat the Zombies has been done to un-death (Horde, Gangs of the Dead, etc, etc,) it would've been nice instead of joining forces had they went there separate ways. Seeing how the discipline SWAT team moves against the Zombies, or a tactical peel retreat. And the Gangsters with their wild undisciplined strongest bravest style. Then see how both sides come to the realization that you have to shoot the Zombies in the head. In this film even the onslaught could have been choreographed better sprinkle them in then mob, all scenes were the same. Whether in the sewer, the slums, pent-house, or parking lot, all ill-used sets.

The Only Good Indian (2009)

The Native American "Uncle Tom"

[15 November 2011]

Sam a Cherokee Indian has the world by the balls, he has everything all figured out. He's got his own Detective Agency, which is about to be bought up by Pinkerton Security agency and they're about to make him an agent. With his fancy clothes and motorbike he's spinning his wheels tracking down squaws that escape from the assimilation schools. He tells this to Charlie after he captures him. calling him a red-n-word, and how proud he is that he shrugged off his Native American trappings. Charlie tells them about another run-away Indian who's wanted for double murder. Now SAM isn't new to racism and seems to deal with the anti-Indian sentiment around town, in fact he profits off of it. On their tale is another bounty hunter McCOY the local Sheriff who isn't shown that much respect either. McCOY is world renown Indian killer and heroine addict. He reveals Sam's past telling him "Half the Indians I get credit for, were killed by you". Sam who is running from his passed is forced to face it.

The Highwayman (2000)

Quentin Tarantino meets the lifetime movie network

[15 November 2011]

A jeweler, desperate to find her father sees the opportunity when "The Highway Men" rob her jewelry store. She tells them where the real goods are and chases them down to join their crew. Meanwhile her father is having a real bad day. he gets laid off, the rents 2 months due, his wife hates him. Now where do I get off bringing the great one into this made for TV drama, well because of its sporadic violence, everybody is violent in this film, and they kill a lot of cops. Then there's several different violent stories that keep overlapping and finally come together. The father attacks his boss, then gets in a knock-down drag out fight with a detective. He teams with the robbers to hunt down his boss. The fathers landlord is a mob boss who burns down houses in font of the firemen as they stand by to put it out. the girlfriends boyfriend is a whiny little sap, who she can't seem to lose. Jason Preistly screams all his dialog and it always ends telling the jeweler we're your family now, not your father.

Die-ner (Get It?) (2009)

A low-budget Zombie Farcical thriller

[15 November 2011]

A charming wise-cracking serial killer, sets up shop at an all-nite diner. Hoping to lake-out the 3rd-shifters that come in for coffee and pie. A bickering couple comes in and just as he's about to get started, here comes the dearly departed. Now this isn't a barricade the restaurant from the oncoming zombie apocalypse, in fact they don't even lock the doors. instead its a big farce as the couple has to wrap their brains around the fact that their brain eaters in they have to restrain. As they try to un-animate the recently re-animated. They also try and get help. As well as realizing their host is a serial killer who they have to escape from while avoiding the zombies. In one funny scene they ask the killer why he has a bag full of tape and rope? Well it's a tape and rope bag what else would you keep in it?

The Price of Air (2000)

Shaky camera work but not shaky dialog

[14 November 2011]

A 2000 movie that looks like it was filmed in 90's shaky-cam optics. first of all everyone in this film has they're own philosophy, which is 20 times better than their own story. As they hustle and muscle to get by day by day. the cast is made up of anyone who thought they would be in the next RESERVOIR DOGS actor. Ex-rappers and models hoping to earn their SAG card. You've scene them in a thousand other films. Any ways the camera work is shaky the dial isn't it rings true. There's a lot of foreshadowing and flash-back. Everyone gets their camera time, to say their spiel and it actually pulls the story along. After you heir a gang- banger tell us how the government will market selling air to us, you'll know this is a good movie.

Brain Dead (2007)

Zombies, boobs, gore, and one-liners, did I mention boobs

[13 November 2011]

I gave it a bad rating and turned this movie off before because of the CGI gun fire a personal pet-peeve of mine. But I don't know why because before it got to the shoot-out there were lots of boobies (and bush), gore and one-liners to keep me interested. This is a campy 1950's horror movie crossed with an 80's T&A. no sooner do they introduce a female character then she gets topless int-regal to the story-line of course. The male characters are all jerks but different jerks they are the paint by numbers characters found in the 50's horror. Fat lazy sloppy cops, over the top criminals....and of course Joshua Benton with his snarky one liners. he's playing the bad boy iconoclast who's too cool for school. It was fun to watch him crack wise through the tragedy.

Pontypool (2008)

great movie

[12 November 2011]

This is not how you start a Zombie movie, by freaking me out before I even get to see a zombie. THe radio reports oncoming zombie Apocalypse has been done many times before its old hat (night of the living dead, dead air, etc etc). WELL IT STILL WORKS. They make it work because its oh so confusing , they never light that candle and say people are chewing other people and those people are becoming zombies, who attack other people. At first its about a doctors office riot, then a language thing th army shows up, but its all over the radio. You're just watching them broadcast. THen when they set upon the radio they do this obituary thing running down family members who killed other family members. They just say they died of their own hands. Which could be anything, a death blow or tearing each other to pieces. The fact that they don't have corpses shuffling around makes it even scarier.

The Quickie (2001)

Depressing romantic mob movie

[12 November 2011]

A quickie is about a Russian Mob Boss who tries to purchase sex from an exterminator hired to clean up after a party. Hokay it opens up with one of the worst parties ever, instead of bringing presents they brought their baggage to the party. most of the characters are the usual suspect. Stereotypical in mob movies but ring true. His ex-wife with her new gigolo. Another aged mobster with his young cheating wife. Some upstarts playboy young turks fighting over who will be higher on the pecking order. Everyones depressed, everyones at each others throats. Somebody finds a message that the head guy has been marked for death. mind you he's got a gun to his head playing Russian Roulette at the time. So once the message is got, he and his henchmen swing into action to keep him alive, I don't know why seeing as how bad his life is.

Good Day for It (2011)

A good movie but I didn't like it

[12 November 2011]

I don't know why I didn't like this film, It had all my favorite strait to video actors. Lance Henrickson in about everything. Robert Englund of Freddie Kruger fame. I love British gangster films so i should have no problem with these in-bred gangsters bumbling around. However the thing is this film had no pop. It starts off with red neck gangsters torturing a guy for stolen money. They were pretty cool dialog was tight. Then they go to this diner where they run into an old cohort who ran off with their money. Then it becomes a long family drama Mexican stand off. I know they wanted a tension filled thriller this isn't it. There was no tough guy down home dialog,,wait one guy told another to leather a knife, that was it.

Lure (2010 Video)

The students are older than the cops, teachers, and their parents

[11 November 2011]

Casting call needs to be fired the only thing worse than CGI gunfire is the casting of this movie. I know they use 30 something to pay teens in movies. but these anorexic porn stars are not only older than their teachers but older than their parents. once you get passed that its a good movie watching them whine bitch kvetch and run screaming for their lives, fro these shovel wielding inbreds. It showed a lot of boobs at the beginning and wasn't to gory to put you of later on, well acted for a b-movie screamathon, well directed and they put some money in this. The dialog rang true and I enjoyed it good movie. in short a bunch of local losers form a cabal to hunt down and kidnap teen girls for their amusement.

Westbrick Murders (2010)

they tried they tried

[11 November 2011]

I see what they were trying to do, I applaud them for trying and completing but I didn't like it. They took the cinema trick from Sin City and The Spirit, add in some film noire and you have a uniformed officer and trench coat wearing detective try to catch a Bonnie and Clyde, Mickey and Mallory spree killer couple. I watched it for past a half hour, especially after I usually shut a movie off after the first CGI gunfight which there was a lot of it this movie. The couple kill the uniforms partner a minute after they get paired up, they don't leave town but decide to take on all comers. The rest of the movie is the cop and detective getting in each others faces not trusting and plotting on each other.

Bugged (1996)

Well-written well acted, horribly cute monster.

[4 November 2011]

Well-written well acted, horrible monster.

In this well written funny, well acted every character is fleshed out, with real acting. A couple of low wage carbon life forms are tasked with transporting a dangerous mutating chemical to a center. They hit a bump in the road and end up spilling their load. They transport it into a passing Good Samaritan exterminator van. The van goes back to its base, the juice gets mixed up with the exterminator goop and they end up spraying it all over a hot chicks house. The goo makes her bugs grow the size of Shaquille O Neal's shoes. They dispatch a bunch of teams of exterminators hoping to get the reward money for capturing the big bug. The bug attacks them and it turns into a bug hunt. The only problem is the bug looks like something they got at some ethnic street festival. It's a child toy with big bug eyes. The animals more cute than scary.

Blood of the Chupacabras (2005)

You had me at Chupacabara

[4 November 2011]

This is a BRO-FILM, a guy got his friends and family together to film this bad-boy so it comes out cheesy. A lot of kids in the mix, a lead actress could use some time in the make-up trailer. Maybe a light tweezing so you're not running around like Edward James Olmos. Anyhow the script was tight, the acting was tight, the production values were a lil lax, and I've seen security footage done with better cameras. I like the whole once bitten zombie factor added into it, so besides the monster you have his victims to contend with. Anyways it was a good movie, I enjoyed watching it, and you will too. As far as special effects I don't remember it, which is good, because usually they're so horrible in films like this you can't forget.

Deep Space (1988)

Miami vs Aliens

[4 November 2011]

Alien spin-off I love these str8 to video monster movies. You can always guess what inspired them. In this one somebody saw the movie ALIENS with the space marines who-haaaing it up around the spacecraft. They decided it would be cooler if the alien crash landed on earth and a salt and pepper "MIAMI VICE" cop team had to deal with it. Wrong, nothings cooler than space marines win a run gun-battle with Alien creatures on a space station. However there were some cool points to be had. This film is so old the clothes are now in style again. The men in black show- up, there were using them long before the x-files. There's a scene in his apartment where he's grabbing every hi-tech gun there is but a GSG-9 only because it wasn't invented yet. This scene rivals the TERMINATOR gun store scene.

White Irish Drinkers (2010)

Been there seen this

[3 November 2011]

I already saw a guide to recognizing your saint and state of grace so I didn't need another southie hells kitchen my dad gets drunk and beats movie. I was hoping for a last call the old guys telling tales of how they used to be. Instead I get this Menace to Society but with white kids movie. A poor kid with a hidden talent competes with his hump friends eking out a living as a civil servant, the one friend in college. He starts seeing there's a better way than his hooligan brother's ways. He meets a girl with bigger dreams than that small burgh they hail from. You know the story up is down black is white things get turned around and our hero is at the cross roads deciding whether to stay on the strait and narrow our take part in a life of crime. Well written well acted just well traveled material.

Goth (2008)

I loved the concept hated the movie..

[3 November 2011]

I loved the concept hated the movie.This movie s concept can go toe-to-toe with twilight or any other hunger games teen movie any day. But they had to Asian it up, and it lost me. Two Wanna be vampire outcast kids team up to catch a serial killer. Awesome but no it's a cool dude and a weird girl who doesn't stick out because she doesn't wear black nail polish or lipstick. She actually wears her school uniform correctly and long black hair. If this was filmed in the states she' be the blonde haired blue eyed girl from the rite side of the tracks. So in true Asian fashion they stumble across a clue to the killer and begin their odyssey. If you've seen other Asian films like the Housemaid, and I see evil you know how this will end it won't be pretty. Anyhoo the opening scene where they discover the body is pure cinema gold and will be copied by everyone.