Change Your Image
emilycoco
Reviews
Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)
annoying at best, and insulting at worst
I enjoy a mindless romantic comedy as much as the next person, but I was unable to finish this movie. For one, it was supremely annoying. Isla Fisher and most of the other characters were stereotyped into oblivion, to the point where you couldn't relate if you wanted to. And why would you want to relate? They were for the most part selfish, short-sighted, curiously loud, and generally intolerable. But the main reason that compelled me to turn the movie off is that I found it completely insulting. Viewers are supposed to suspend reality and believe that Fisher finds fame and success as a financial writer through her ridiculous metaphors about shopping. The fact that she's too dumb to take her own advice, and yet she still somehow manages to fool everyone around her, is just too much reality for me to suspend. Moreover, the portrayal of a woman who finds success in finance through only dumb luck and cute outfits is an insult to all the women who find similar success in that field through their intellect and drive. I read the book and liked it enough to read the whole series, but this movie effectively removed all the nuances and details that made the book (and the pretty distasteful habits it depicted) bearable. I guess the sad irony is that I paid to watch it, while all the people involved with it are laughing all the way to the bank. Don't waste your time watching this abhorrent airbrushed fairy tale, and if you have a daughter of a formative age, please don't let her watch it either.
An American Affair (1997)
so bad it's good!
Oh my god, this has to be the best/worst made-for-TV movie I have ever seen. The plot, such as it is, is just bizarre. You think you are watching your generic Lifetime flick about a woman whose family/life is torn apart by a cheating/lying/fill-in-the-blank man. But then it morphs into some kind of sinister murder cover-up, and takes a turn for the supernatural, and then veers again into the utterly ridiculous.
It starts with these two women who seem to be polar opposites but who are somehow the best of friends. One is a bookish, free-thinking yoga type, and the other is this cartoonishly sexual vixen. Despite their differences, they overtly vow (who DOES this?) to never let a man get in the way of their friendship ("us first, men second"). Then, of course, the very next scene they meet a man who will get in the way of their relationship. There are no clues as to why this man, in particular, is the man that has managed to break down their seemingly impenetrable bond, but whatever. We learn that ours is not to ask questions. The man ultimately impregnates one of them while still being obsessed with the other one.
From here, the movie devolves into an increasingly bizarre series of situations, in which each character makes inexplicably bad decisions given their circumstances. Finally, the whole thing culminates in the most ridiculous final scene of a movie I've ever seen. It kind of ties everything up, but it really only answers the 'how' and not the 'why'. Seriously, the ending is so bad it is hilarious, and I would watch the whole thing just for the payoff.
The movie is not for the faint-hearted, but if you enjoy a good laugh at the expense of some earnest director somewhere, this one's for you. I for one really love Lifetime movies, and this unintentionally (I think?) hilarious movie was a nice reprieve from the prodigious vehicles about psychic detectives or overprotective mothers who save their child from some vice.
*SPOILER* I'm sorry, I tried to write the review without saying it, but the last line, "that's what you get when you mess with an American senator" followed by the impregnator getting kicked in the balls is just so so awesome. Watch it for this if nothing else!
First Daughter (1999)
this was one story that really did not need to be told
There are so many movies in this world about the first daughter, and considering how few people in the world can relate to the very particular experiences of that group of people, this addition to this 'first family' film genre is just unnecessary. This was a combination of all of those random generic first daughter films and the mid-90's Meryl Streep wild-water-rafting film "The River Wild".
Aside from the various yawning plot holes (how could two people avoid being blown to bits just by jumping really fast out of the cabin; why did the freedom fighter not pull out his gun BEFORE they started rafting into that white water near the end; why wasn't the forest swarming with secret service agents to avoid just such a chase), the whole movie felt contrived and boring. Ultimately, this was one story that really did not need to be told.
Eye of the Stalker (1995)
my favorite Lifetime movie
I'm not sure why exactly this is my favorite made-for-TV, Lifetime-esquire movie ever, but it is. I remember watching it for the first time years ago and it always stuck with me. I think the reason that is has stuck with me is, and this is really corny, but I thought the women were very strong and realistic characters. While they seem to exhibit some questionable judgment towards the end, the entire movie I kept thinking how much I could relate to the characters' actions and feelings. I especially liked the advice the mother gave the daughter about boundaries, and I paraphrase: "You have to have boundaries. You have to draw lines and let people know where you stand." Also, the guy that plays the stalker is absolutely effective; he irritates me/creeps me out the moment he steps on screen. Overall, a pretty good film, you know, for TV.