spudmonkeysteve Reviews

Raging Boll (2010)

Uwe Boll is pathetic

[8/10 · 7 May 2020]

I started this documentary apathetic towards Boll, I was even sympathetic to the hate he got from video game fans and internet critics.

By the end, I actively dislike him. He seems to believe that because he makes films he deserves success, his attitude is 'well I've got actors people like and it is a genre people like so they will love my film and if they don't they are trolls'.

He is dismissive of other, more talented filmmakers, and pathetically insulting of his critics.

The boxing match is the culmination of this lack of intelligence; if he can't insult his critics in to silence, he will beat them up instead.

If anyone ever deserved the amount of hate they receive, it is Boll. Ironically, this is the highest I will rate any film involving him as his films are terrible.

Small Town Folk (2007)

Good first attempt though could try harder

[7/10 · 25 June 2008]

I came to see this film with almost no knowledge of what it was about; I heard about it in Total Film and, having always loved independent films, decided to roll the dice and take a chance. To an extent I am glad I did, the film is a good first film, the filmmakers showing good understanding of their genre and providing some decent set pieces considering there no-budget approach and the effects were reasonably impressive for the budget the makers had to work with. The story is standard horror movie fare; a young couple drive into a small town called Grockleton despite being emphatically warned not to by no less than Warwick Davies. It is written and executed by a team who have obvious love for this type of film and delivers enough pace and humour to get it through its rougher patches. However what is unforgivable is the performance of a few of the key actors. Dan Palmer who plays Dobbin is atrocious delivering an awful tongue in bottom lip performance that an eight year old would give be ashamed of, he is irritating and distracting and as believable as Barney the Dinosaur. Jon Nicholas who plays Pooch is equally poor, crossing his eyes and gurning his way through the entire movie and looking to all the world as though he has had the wind change on him while pulling a funny face. Simon Stanley-Ward isn't bad as Marcus though he is so quiet as to be considered inaudible for a goodly portion of his lines, obviously in some attempt to give gravitas to his teenage tones. Beyond these performances though the film was good, solid and above all enjoyable fare from some promising young filmmakers.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

Tim Burton at his darkest

[9/10 · 6 April 2008]

Tim Burton has outdone himself here, this film groans with the hallmarks of this visually eloquent director who is not afraid to push the envelope. Sweeney Todd takes Burton's distinctive and unashamedly individual style and blends it seamlessly with Stephen Sondheim's chilling score to create something truly unique. Burton effectively washes all colour from the screen giving the appearance of utter bleakness to the streets of London to the extent that when the blood starts to flow it is even more shocking because its rich, vibrant crimson brightens up its desolate surroundings. Burton really manages to capture a brutal elegance and beauty that compliments the contradictory nature of a musical about a murderous barber. Depp is extremely well suited to the role of Sweeney Todd, perfectly embodying this tortured and damaged character. He attacks the role with a snarl on his face and a growl in his voice and provides surprisingly good vocals for his songs, though I can't help feeling that his accent is rather too close to the voice he used for Jack Sparrow. This is a small criticism, however, of an otherwise outstanding turn from Depp. The rest of the cast are perfectly matched with their roles and there is not a weak link in the entire movie so my recommendation is watch, enjoy and, above all, sing along because there's no place like London.

Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

Hilarious

[7/10 · 5 April 2008]

This film is absolute genius, no it won't win any Oscars, yes the acting is incredibly over the top and yes the plot and script make no senses whatsoever but if you switch off your brain and just enjoy the spectacle of it all it is wonderful. The visual effects are fittingly caricatured and the characters suitably outlandish. Stephen Chow has successfully married the comedy of Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin with the digital mastery of modern day effects to create something truly unique. If you are a fan of old style physical comedy and Jackie Chan then you will love this film, it is a fantastic Saturday afternoon movie for all of the family.

Cloverfield (2008)

Massively Overrated (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

[6/10 · 5 April 2008]

I went to see this film after seeing rave reviews and hearing my friends talk about it as if it were the second coming of Christ. Personally I was disappointed; while there are many elements about this film that are very good, the main actors, for example, really throw themselves into the seemingly ludicrous subject matter creating a convincingly tense atmosphere, however the film itself does not hold up to scrutiny. First of all the shaky cam style is good for about ten minutes; after forty five I felt a combination of motion sickness and annoyance at the fact that what I was effectively paying to see was a bad home movie. Don't get me wrong I applaud any attempt to do something new and different in film and I really wanted to enjoy the experience but it was just too much; chocolate is good but too much of it makes me feel the same way I felt watching this movie. Second the monster was incredibly disappointing, again the hype would have you believe that it was going to be the terrifying hybrid of King Kong, Godzilla and every other Thing From Outer Space to smash their way across the silver screen. What we actually get, however, looks like a poorly rendered lump of snot on legs. I feel a bit conned by this, I wanted something that would give me chills not make me laugh. Then you take into account the addition of those little spider things that drop off it like furry drops of sweat and make people's stomachs explode; in which universe did the designer honestly think that anyone would find that scary? In an age of slasher films and zombie apocalypses exploding stomachs just looks silly. This movie wasn't terrible, but it also wasn't amazing; it was OK. It is an average monster movie dressed up as an indie art-house horror movie and that is all it is. The only genius that J J Abrams has shown here is his ability to whip the international film community into a lather over anything he does. If you want a monster movie there are far more capable ones out there though I will hand it to him; P T Barnum hasn't got anything on J J Abrams.

Casshern (2004)

Beautifully convoluted fairytale

[6/10 · 12 March 2006]

I have just finished watching Casshern and overall it was a visually stunning feast for the eyes with a beautifully woven fairytale at its heart. Unfortunately the fairytale was somewhat drowned under layer upon layer of heavy handed and mostly unnecessary exposition that ponders on for two long and mind-numbing hours, the result being that I am baffled by the entire experience. On the one hand I loved the movie; the style of the film was exceptional, every aspect of the world the director had created strained with the quality that is lacking in most western films. The cinematography was perfectly executed, the design work was breathtaking and the idea at the core of the narrative was ingenious. On the other hand these qualities cannot make up for the script, which is overly long and excruciatingly convoluted; taking an unnecessarily long and ponderous route to a conclusion that, in the hands of a better writer, could have been much more straightforward without necessarily losing any of the emotional complexity of the narrative or its characters. I would recommend seeing this movie if just to experience the spectacular visual feast that it is, but I can't help thinking that the story could have been treated so much better.