nate_smith Reviews

Settlers (2021)

Stick a fork in my eye.

[1/10 · 11 July 2021]

I've seen a lot of bad movies, especially during the past 2 years, but his one has a special place in my heart. There are 5 minutes of dialogue the WHOLE movie. My eyes were constantly closing as my brain was trying to shield itself from this travesty by going unconscious. There is absolutely nothing even close to mediocre in this movie.

Also, to anybody who thinks we will ever live on Mars or that living on any planet in this solar system besides Earth is "cool" or a good idea, EAT SAND. It's a false narrative being fed to us so people will still have some type of hope while corporations are totally destroying what is left of Mother Earth. When this planet nears death, we are toast. DONE. Honestly, we are a forgone conclusion if this planet's temperature rises just a few degrees Celsius.

A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

Massive pile of elephant dung.

[1/10 · 28 June 2021]

I remember a time when the reviews on this website were not all bogus; now it is just FILLED to the brim with propaganda.

The first AQP was a 6 at best, but this one really scorches the cake.

Whoever thinks this is decent film was probably hit in the head with a brick.

Bo Burnham: Inside (2021 TV Special)

Best thing since Apple Pi

[10/10 · 6 June 2021]

Over 14 years ago, I remember gathering around the PC with my friends to watch a young Bo Burnham rap while playing an acoustic guitar. As late teenagers, we couldn't laugh hard enough; it was silly, it was ridiculous, it was genius. That was my first impression of Bo, and he was performing Apple Pi.

Fast forward a decade and a half later, and Bo Burnham releases his greatest masterpiece: Inside. It encapsulates so much emotion, thought, content, music, parody, irony...the list goes on. It blew my mind.

This is the equivalent of Charlie Parker going "out to the shed" after having a cymbal thrown at his head during a bad performance, and coming out a saxophone virtuoso. What Bo Burnham has done with Inside will not be surpassed by content creators for years to come.

This is Art. This is Expression. This is Genius.

What do you expect? It's Bo, yo!

Night in Paradise (2020)

Best Movie since 2020 started.

[10/10 · 13 April 2021]

Amazing writing, directing, cinematography. Will definitely win awards at the end of this year. I'd put it down as one of the best movies since 2020 started.

My girlfriend and I gave it a standing ovation in our bedroom.

READ: If you are too lazy to read subtitles, any films other than those of your native language are NOT for you. It changes the whole dynamic/experience. I wouldn't dare to hear some crappy voiceovers on a masterpiece such as this. Any low reviews you see are the pawns who watched it dubbed, which shouldn't ever be done to any movie, in any language.

The Third Day (2020)

Refreshing horror, great vibe.

[10/10 · 29 September 2020]

All I can say is watch it. Jude Law is killing is here with his natural acting abilities. He's a man from the big city that stumbled upon a certain type of people...that's all I can say without giving anything away. This is definitely one of the more original shows I have seen. WATCH IT if you enjoy horror with a great backstory.

Becky (II) (2020)

What did I just watch?

[1/10 · 10 June 2020]

Bratty little girl turns into a cold bloody Nazi killer. I don't think so. Everything about this movie was a waste of my time. I should be paid to endure pain such as this. The only interesting part about this movie is waiting to see what the ____ opens and what is inside. Well the scriptwriters deliberately (or worse: forgot) decided not to let us ever see. This movie just pissed me off. Straight to DVD throw it in the garbage type of movie.

P. S. For some odd reason, the Aryan Kevin James is somehow more genuine than the low level goofy comedian Kevin James, which is kinda funny.

The Man from Earth (2007)

Greatest script ever written.

[10/10 · 7 June 2020]

If there was an algorithm that based movie scores based on everything they had to work with; budget, actors, stage, script, etc. this would easily score as the greatest movie of all time.

Even without, it may still be.

The Invisible Man (I) (2020)

The Invisible Man; did a child name this movie?

[1/10 · 7 June 2020]

Imagine a generic, feminist comic book ripoff, where the main characters fight an invisible enemy! They punch and kick into the air to no avail, and try to defend themselves from the enemy that may or may not be there. Literally a movie where you can't see the antagonist. So many awkward scenes where characters are desperately trying to act against something that isn't there. Then the second half, things only get more cringe!

That's this movie, folks. Do NOT waste your time. Also, judging by the last scene I actually believe they are going to make a sequel titled the Invisible Woman! Definitely count me out on this crapper of a series.

Space Force (2020–2022)

Steve Carell

[1/10 · 7 June 2020]

Please retire.

I'm writing these words because the previous ones were insufficient to meet the word requirement of a review.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

Overrated by a light year.

[1/10 · 7 June 2020]

I'm betting you heard somewhere on the internet that this is one of the greatest movies of all time.

It simply isn't. It is corny, ridiculous, and full of utter nonsense. Anyone touting this as a decent movie is deliberately propagandizing.

If you haven't seen this movie, don't. If you have, I feel the same pain you surely do. Just finished it, hated it.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019–2024)

Possibly the best low budget TV show of all time.

[10/10 · 24 May 2020]

Everything about this show is a masterpiece, and awesomely hilarious! I am HARSH when it comes to script writing, and Taika nailed this show just like he did in his movie (also named WWDinS). I could go on for days about how well done this is, but don't waste your time reading anymore, just go WATCH IT (and the movie) NOW!

True Detective (2014– )

WARNING: WATCH THE FIRST SEASON ONLY

[10/10 · 24 May 2020]

1st Season: Possibly the best TV show ever made.

2nd Season: Utter trash. 3rd Season: A super weak and envious little brother of the first season, with absolutely no depth/lore.

Snowpiercer (2020–2024)

10/10 just to boost this great show's unbelievably low rating!

[10/10 · 24 May 2020]

With how many worthless TV shows are coming out these days (you know what I'm talking about), I was happily surprised that they made the Snowpiercer movie into a series. The vast scope of this type of material concerning humanity as a whole, it definitely needs more than the time of one movie. We all fell in love with Jennifer Connelly back when Requiem for a Dream came out, and she's an excellent lead here as well. I must say the only decent shows I'm keeping up with right now are this and What We Do in the Shadows...also I Know This Much Is True, but only because I love Mark Ruffalo.

I couldn't give this show any less than a 10 due to it's rating being lower than so many horribly scripted shows that are out now. That being said, I think ONE season is enough to cover the entire spectrum of this idea. Creators, please don't cling onto an idea for dear life just because you have a great first season. E.g. Westworld season 2-3 anyone? True Detective season 2-3? Horrible, still can't get the taste outta my mouth.

P.S. Watch Snowpiercer the movie before you watch this show. Don't worry, it has captain america in it for you comic fanboys.

True Detective (2014– )

Season 1: 12/10 DO NOT WATCH Seasons 2 and 3.

[10/10 · 24 May 2020]

Season 1 of True Detective, starring Matthew Mcconaughey and Woody Harrelson, is quite possibly the BEST SEASON OF ANY TV SERIES IN THE HISTORY OF FILM. Season 2 was a complete joke, and season 3 is an extremely weak and envious imitation of season 1.

There should be a different rating for each season since they are entirely different settings and actors. Seasons 2 & 3 should be deleted from history.

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

NOT as good as Infinity War.

[5/10 · 29 April 2019]

Also watched GoT season 8 episode 3 (the long night*) after Endgame; let's just say I completely forgot about this final avengers movie. Literally that episode of GOT blows this movie away.

MANY of the scenes weren't important/forgettable. Infinity War was just better, whatever the Russo brothers were ready to retire, therefore comic movies are going back to being crap.

ITS OVER, MCU as we know it will be feminized by Disney and going down the crapper. It was fun while it lasted, btw Captain Marvel is HORRIBLE, the movie, character, everything. Great new dyke haircut.

Captain Marvel (2019)

Captain Marvel: Low hanging fruit of the MC Universe.

[1/10 · 28 March 2019]

Prelude: My wife and I are MASSIVE fans of the MCU. We love every film they have put out since the original Iron Man. We gasp, laugh, sometimes cry, and are amazed by all the movies they have put out over the past years. They are my favorite collection of movies of all time.

That being said...I was shocked by this film. I was yawning at points. We never felt any emotion throughout its entirety (until the post credit scene). We weren't rooting for anybody. There is absolutely no connection between Brie Larson and the character she represents. The "humor" fell completely flat. This movie just isn't even close to the standard of quality we have come to expect from the amazing minds behind the MC Universe. I'm not sure what qualities were even present, besides the cinematography and CGI.

DC just came out with Aquaman before this, I thought I KNEW Captain Marvel would at least be as good as that movie (which was fantastic by the way, and surprised me.) But "aqua"...man, was I wrong; I had to watch a couple previous MCU movies just to get the Captain Marvel aftertaste out of my mouth. It just isn't up to par in any way with what we have come to expect. They should have made Jude Law the hero Captain Marvel, as he may have been the only one who showed any substance in this movie. Feminist agenda? I'm not going to comment on that. A movie should be rated on how good it truly is, not whether there are more male or female protagonists/antagonists.

Bottom Line: Want to see a real heroine? Go watch Wonder Woman again, because Captain Marvel can't hold a candle to her in terms of being a superhero. I'd compare her acting range here to an out of tune C note on an old piano being jammed over and over by a child.This movie was a hasty and desperate attempt to get another character into the already crowded MC Universe. I can't remember the last time I felt so let down.

I truly wanted to love it. I hope the writers learn from this, and do not make the same mistakes moving forward. Lets all look forward to Avengers: Endgame, and not let this slight stain ruin our favorite mythical universe.