ponchito-00588 Reviews

The Gay Dog (1952 TV Movie)

Not A Comedy

[10/10 · 12 December 2021]

What a title! That's what drew me to The Gay Dog, to see what it was all about. I pictured a dog wearing lipstick, with painted toenails and fluttering false eye lashes.

In reality it was about a greyhound named Raving Beauty, and the love and devotion his owner heaped on him. And the dog's impact on the family of its owner, and in fact the entire village where they all live.

I've seen it described as a comedy, but I saw it more as a drama. Nothing funny about it, definitely peculiar, and odd, but not hilarious nor played for laughs.

The entire British cast was all very effective, I didn't recognize a single name, or face.

And that is the major difference between star driven Hollywood movies, and story based English pictures.

All the characters were just ordinary mid century working class Brits. Not the slightest hint of glamour, or elegance. Just plain folks.

An exceptional dog, but not a talking canine, nor bionic pup, just a dog happily sleeping on a bed of hay in its handmade kennel.

Stromboli (1950)

Filmed on location in beautiful Pompei.

[10/10 · 23 March 2021]

Ingrid Bergman plays desperate housewife. Nothing suits her, especially not the 1 Euro seaside Italian homes. She hates 300 plus sunny days, she yearns for 300 plus snowbound days home in Sweden. She misses shoveling snow off the entrance to her home. Many people travel half way around the world to witness a volcanic eruption, but Ingrid doesn't appreciate one in her own backyard. The only thing Stromboli lacks is Sofia Loren to slap some since into self pitying, always whining Nordic woman.

The Train (1964)

Flawed Plot

[5/10 · 20 September 2020]

An excellent movie, very exciting, riveting actually. However the entire plot falls flat. If an Allied victory is only days away, perhaps one day away, there would be no need to steal the art masterpieces. If Germany was indeed defeated at this point then the paintings would have to be returned to France eventually. At this point evacuation of German forces should have been the first, priority, to defend the Fatherland itself, to protect Berlin, to wrangle at least minor advantage in the ultimate peace settlement. At best Germany could declare a unilateral cease fire, and hope for the best. Form a new government to sue for peace. Spare their own people additional suffering.

Columbo: Dead Weight (1971) Season 1, Episode 3

Suzanne Pleshette/Kate Reid excellent duo

[1/10 · 8 September 2020]

Suzanne Pleshette was in top form in this early Columbo episode. Better than anything she ever did on the Bob Newhart Show, or in Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Eddie Albert was way too old to play a believable love interest to Pleshette, who was young enough to be his daughter. Although the age difference between Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor in Green Acres was similar, that was a comedy, a farce, much more believable than here. Dead Weight was filmed during the last year of Green Acres, so its hard not to make a comparison. Green Acres was a hit because it was such a departure from Albert's usual deadpan characterizations. He doesn't have the emotional range of say Donald Pleasence who was a much more effective Columbo series murderer. Kate Reid who played Pleshette's mother was superb. Better than her role in The Andromeda Strain the same year. Dead Weight would have worked infinitely better had Kate Reid and Suzanne Pleshette switched roles.

Them! (1954)

My father worked on this movie.

[10/10 · 17 February 2020]

My late father did all the original photography of ants in our backyard in suburban Los Angeles. Not the giant prop ants, actual tiny ants that were shown towards the beginning of the movie to explain the life cycle of normal size ants. I don't believe he was credited in the movie. Of course Them! is a classic.

Gore Vidal: The United States of Amnesia (2013)

His cynicism was colossal.

[10/10 · 29 April 2019]

Gore Vidal was certainly one of the brightest gay men in history, one of the greatest minds period. But such magnificent brilliance begs the question can you be too brilliant? I can't argue with his success in life, he created a wonderful lifestyle for himself. Gorgeous hillside villa in Italy, the best cuisine, impeccable designer wardrobe, museum quality furnishings and decor, all the finest material possessions anyone could dream of. He had more art masterpieces in his bathroom than I have in my entire home.

But he thought he was so superior to everyone else that it bred a contempt for humanity. In "Gore Vidal: United States of Amnesia," Vidal recaps the 1960 election. How his hero John F. Kennedy won the presidency, and at the same time he himself, Gore Vidal, was crushed in his campaign for the House of Representatives from a Republican upstate New York district. He goes on to reflect near the end of his life how much he loved, and still loved JFK, but that his presidency was a complete failure, Camelot had achieved nothing, risked everything with the Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba and the Cuban Missile Crisis.

I have nowhere near the intellect of Vidal, but is clear for me to see his jealousy of the dead president. Kennedy succeeded, and he failed. Gore could never excite the emotions of the populace. Gore saw himself as a messiah, a successor to JFK himself. So in the end such brilliance destroyed Gore, ate away at his self worth. Had Gore run for office in heavily Democratic New York City perhaps Kennedy's coattails would have been enough to sweep him along to Washington and Camelot. Perhaps he would have wound up in the senate like his grandfather. Gore was so close to power he could touch it, as a young boy he was congressional page to his blind grandfather, Senator Thomas Gore Democrat of Oklahoma. Gore saw himself as the rightful heir to that senate seat, to the presidency, to greatness. Gore carved out for himself his own niche in American history, but that was not enough for his cynical and perhaps malignant mind. He saw what were to him lesser men and women lead the gay and Lesbian movement to victory. He became a spectator while others achieved the glory.

His brilliance was incredible, but his negativity was also gargantuan and perhaps eclipsed the positive.

Invasion, U.S.A. (1952)

Not exactly Gone With the Wind.

[1/10 · 19 April 2019]

Invasion USA is worse than they say. I can't believe anyone even moderately enjoyed it. It is pure CIA propaganda about the dangers of disarmament. How the Soviets attack California and the brave people of the West Coast fight down to the last man, woman and child. They burn the massive oil and gas reserves at Richmond in Contra Costa County, destroy food stores in Oakland in neighboring Alameda County, to deprive the hungry Russians of fuel and any crumb to eat. But such brave resistance doesn't deter the crafty Russians, who quickly overwhelm the entire country and besiege New York City. The Russians are two, or three make believe soldiers in not particularly convincing uniforms. One so fat he can barely fit through a doorway.

If you see Peggy Castle or Gerald Mohr listed in the cast of any movie you know its a B picture. Or in this case not even that. The entire format of Invasion USA of people sitting at a bar throughout the movie and seeing the Communist Invasion while under mass hypnosis is a total farce. The reason for the invasion? The kindly Soviets want to free the American worker from the oppression of Wall Street! An admirable goal, of course. But not as dramatic as say the burning of Atlanta in Gone With the Wind.

The Second Woman (1950)

Betsy Drake: a poor man's Teresa Wright.

[1/10 · 13 April 2019]

The Second Woman aspired to be Film Noir, but never quite made it. The title is technically correct, but virtually immaterial to plot development. There are faint echoes of Rebecca, and Spellbound. Hitchcock could have created a masterpiece with this raw material, but as it is it is a futile waste of time. There is no suspense whatsoever, mostly because of Robert Young. There's a reason Hitchcock never used him in any of his pictures. His limited range of emotions, his flat one dimensional personality. His second tier leading lady, Betsy Drake, was mediocre, pleasant and she knew her lines but not engaging in any way, shape or form. Drake is no Joan Fontaine, nor Ingrid Bergman. Miss Drake could well be interchangeable with Jane Wyatt on Father Knows Best as Jim Anderson's homemaker wife. Except Wyatt had more personality, and sparkle than Drake. Robert Young seemed to be wearing the same business suit wardrobe from Father Knows Best throughout The Second Woman, although the television series came a few years later. Young was always dressed formally even though he lived on the beach which was filmed on a spectacular stretch of coastline at Monterrey, California. He never dipped a single toe into the surf. The dead fiance, the painting of her, the beach location, the house burned to the ground were all inspired by Rebecca, of course. Betsy Drake is a poor man's Teresa Wright, and I can say that beyond a Shadow of a Doubt. I can't think of a single movie that isn't better with Robert Young not in it.

Happy Valley (2014–2023)

Totally Enjoyable Start to Finish.

[10/10 · 13 April 2019]

If you want to see a good crime series, check out Happy Valley, a British import available on Netflix. Happy Valley is worlds above American television for reality. Although there are some flaws. Happy Valley is centered around a female lead, a senior uniformed cop. And although I think the point is to show that women can do the same job as men, I got the opposite message. That is is one field where women are at a disadvantage. I know it's not politically correct to say so, but the average woman cannot take on the average man. Sure, some women can physically dominate some men, but overall its an uphill task. Sure, have female cops, but partner them with a male officer. In this series one very young, pretty petite female cop is killed, run over several times by the bad guys. She's pinned between a car, and a van, and crushed to death. If I had heard one of the parked vehicles ignition engage, let alone slam into reverse, I would have instinctively jumped out of the way. But the script called for her to take a fall, so down she went. And her superior officer, the main character gets the you know what beat out of her. As much physical punishment as I thought a body could endure, and bounce back. Her male assailant was half her age, and had at least twice her strength. True, she had the advantage of her police training, but it wasn't even close to an even match. Only wonder woman could have taken her assailant down. That is the main flaw in the series I alluded to previously. This woman cop is on patrol alone, even after its proven someone is out to kill her, and kidnap her grandson. Shouldn't she have had a partner in her squad car with her at all times? Only after the young boy is threatened with great bodily injury is he allowed to walk to school, and back alone! Why? So that he can get himself abducted of course. But the interactions between the characters are truer to reality than in any other series I've seen. People motivated by petty motives just like in real life. Motives we are some times embarrassed to admit. Crimes committed out of vanity, the foolhardy vanity that we will never get caught. And it is true, most crime is never solved, I don't believe most crimes are even investigated. That's human nature, let it slide unless there's pressure from above to get your fat ass on the job. No criticism of law enforcement intended, just human nature. Happy Valley is one of the most violent crime series I've ever seen. Brutal, a prime example of film noir. And of course intense, and riveting. Happy Valley is set in Yorkshire, just like Downton Abbey. But I find the accents harder to follow on Happy Valley. Maybe the more well known actors on Downton Abbey are more accustomed to playing to American audiences. At least one actor bridges both series. Siobhan Finnerman played Sarah O'Brien on Downtown, and Clare Cartwright in Happy Valley. At first you might not recognize her as the same actress, in Downton she wears her hair pulled back away from her face, in Happy Valley she wears her hair cascading across her face, almost completely obscuring her appearance. Happy Valley features two of the handsomest villains ever to grace the small screen, blondish James Norton as the main protagonist Tommy Lee Royce, and dark haired Adam Long as Lewis Whippey his evil cohort. Every time I heard Lewis Whippey addressed by his last name I thought they were calling him Wimpy! Even his stage name, Adam Long, makes him sound like a porn star. One of the funniest scenes in Happy Valley was when a third bad guy hides Tommy and Wimpy from the cops in his apartment. He stuffs Wimpy inside his lumpy couch! And stashes Tommy Lee underneath his bathtub! It was hilarious, at least to me, to see these two very tall men released from their domestic cocoons after the police failed to uncover their hiding places. Tommy Lee had to contort his body to fit into the narrow space under one edge of the cold formed steel tub. If I hadn't see it, I wouldn't have believed it was possible for him to squeeze himself into that tight space.

Whore (1991)

Hilarious Black Comedy.

[10/10 · 13 April 2019]

What a hoot! If you want camp, look no further. Whore is as much camp as Whatever Happened to Baby Jane Hudson, or Pink Flamingos.

Whore was released in response to Pretty Woman about the same time, but fell off the radar because of minimal distribution. But now you can access it via Netflix. The point of Whore was to show the absurdity of Pretty Woman, how unrealistic Pretty Woman's portrayal of prostitution was.

And Whore succeeded! You see winos vomiting on the street next to the Whore plying her trade. You see filthy trash filled streets littered with homeless people, and panhandlers. Not first class hotels and classy restaurants with fine linens as in Pretty Woman.

I love Theresa Russell in the title role, the Whore. I always thought she was a superb actress, overshadowed by many other actresses of her generation for no apparent reason that I can discern.

I've stayed in several bordellos, had a first hand look at prostitution. Completely by accident, of course. When I arrived in Manila in the Philippines I asked my taxi driver to take me to a hotel, it was late at night after a long haul flight from San Francisco and I just wanted to fall into bed. The driver mistakenly thought I was straight and wanted you know what, so he took me to his favorite whore house. Packed with local whores with Aussie and Kiwi customers. By the time I realized it was a whore house the driver was long gone, and I was too tired to look for other accommodations.

Same thing happened to me in Santiago, Chile. Another whore house. I can assure you no one I saw was dressed like Julia Roberts or Richard Gere. There were no elegant picture perfect hotel bedrooms, no expensive floral arrangements. The only thing that mattered to the Johns was the sex. The sex trade is sloppy, brutal, crude, rude, nasty, dirty. Whore is real, camp and very, very funny.

Turn the Key Softly (1953)

Canine Superstar

[10/10 · 12 April 2019]

When you want to watch a completely different type of movie, watch Turn The Key Softly. The title gives little clue as to the emotional story that is about to unfold. I had no idea what to expect, I found it on Youtube. Three women are released from a British Prison on the same morning, the movie follows their first 24 hours of freedom. The only actress I recognized was a very young Joan Collins, 14 years before she guest starred as Edith Keeler, in the best episode ever of the original Star Trek series, City on the Edge of Forever. Yvonne Mitchell gets top billing as another one of the released prisoners, even more glamorous and attractive than Collins on her best day. Although Collins played a cockney, I found every bit of dialog to be very understandable to American English speakers. Maybe she was speaking cockney light. I didn't need subtitles like with some British movies. But it is the third, the oldest and least attractive actress, Kathleen Harris, who completely steals the show in my humble opinion. She tells her two jail companions how she is eager to get home because she has somebody waiting for her, Johnny. On and on she raves about her beloved Johnny. I assumed Johnny was her son, but you could think she meant her husband, or brother. So it comes as a total shock when she gets home to Johnny, a dog! A dog that can't control his enthusiasm to see her again. She promises never to leave him again. I expected that to be the end of her story, but I was wrong.

I doubt if the director expected the homely old woman and her black and white dog to upstage the beautiful leading lady, Yvonne Mitchell who figures prominently on the movie poster. But the dog theme runs all the way through to the end of the picture and ties in neatly with Yvonne Mitchell. I won't give away the grand finale, except to warn you to have plenty of tissues ready to wipe away the tears.

Woman on the Run (1950)

The Very Definition of FIlm Noir

[10/10 · 10 April 2019]

I loved Woman on the Run, although I thought it was her husband who was on the run. I suppose she was on the run in pursuit of her husband who is the fugitive from the law.

However the woman in question played by Ann Sheridan is the primary character, one who gives the best performance of the movie, perhaps of her career. She doesn't seem the least bit intimidated by the cops, in fact she all but tells them to go to hell. She never cracks a smile during the entire film, she is always deadly serious about getting medicine to her husband who has a fatal heart condition if not medicated.

Don't get me wrong, the entire cast is top rate, from the seemingly most insignificant bit player to the top tier supporting cast, but its Ann Sheridan who carries the movie, she's in virtually every scene.

I loved the setting in mid Twentieth Century San Francisco. Seeing familiar streets, and landmarks like City Hall, Chinatown and old two story wooden Victorian Homes. There is no attempt to dress up the picture with fancy sets, or glamorous gowns, just a strong script strictly adhered to and brilliantly acted. The plot is basically that an innocent couple get swept up in nightmarish circumstances beyond their control. Almost the perfect description of Film Noir. I saw a washed out faded print, I could imagine how much better to enjoy it in a theatre in a restored version.

The Arnelo Affair (1947)

The Arnelo Fiasco

[1/10 · 29 March 2019]

I was drawn to the Arnelo Affair by John Hodiak, I've always enjoyed his performances. Unfortunately, he was absolutely flat this time out, with a total lack of passion for his role. However, the main problem was Frances Gifford as the leading lady, Anne Parkson. She should have taken acting lessons from Joan Crawford! Joan would have made this chunk of coal sparkle like a diamond. Gifford had no charisma, no glamour, no allure, nothing that the role begged for. The only good thing I can say about Gifford is that she was marginally better than if either Shirley Booth or Shirley Temple played Anne Parkson.

Dean Stockwell as Ricky Parkson was the only highlight in the Arnelo Affair. A welcome peek at his wonderful career that would follow.

George Murphy as Ted Parkson was totally miscast. He never showed any romantic interest in his wife, Anne, until the very last scene of the movie that seemed so out of place, and out of character. Murphy is the total opposite of Hodiak as an actor: no style, no vitality, not a leading man in any sense of the word. I would describe Murphy more like a prop than even a supporting actor.

I saw the picture all the way through waiting for the big payoff that I knew John Hodiak and Eve Arden could deliver, but it never arrived. "B" picture status for the Arnelo Affair is far beyond the reach of this turkey.

About Mrs. Leslie (1954)

What a Turkey!

[1/10 · 1 March 2019]

I could not believe the scene where Shirley Booth plays a night club singer! Absolutely absurd to even imagine her in such a role. Her voice is horrendous. I see many positive reviews which I think are based more on her stellar reputation having recently won the Academy Award. Reviewers seem afraid to tell the truth about her performance here. I don't care how accomplished any director, producer, cinematographer, or actor is. What counts is only what is on the screen. Someone said its a shame Booth is typecast in our minds today because of her starring role in the TV series Hazel. Yet, I see little difference between this turkey and that television program. Different name, but she's still a domestic servant catering to household customers.