[minor spoilers] Jam-packed with beautiful photography, an amazing set, several cool deaths, and a kick-ass musical score, "The Church" is one of those classic horror movies that I could watch over and over again.
It opens with a neat prologue showing some bucket-headed knights laying waste to a village of devil worshippers. During the fray, one peasant's head is lopped off and kicked around by horses (the movie is full of neat details like that). Eventually all the devil worshippers and all their animals are thrown in a big pit to be buried (a wonderful image), and a church is built on the accursed ground.
A stylish tracking shot welcomes us to the present, and to a huge, ornamental cathedral with cool demons painted on the walls, where we are introduced to various interesting characters, including a nice girl named Lotte (winningly played by Dario Argento's daughter Asia), a handsome young priest (Hugh Quarshie, who went on to be in "Star Wars: Episode One- The Phantom Menace", a significantly less satisfying flick), and an unlikable librarian who kind of looks like John Glover.
Unlikable Librarian discovers an ancient document promising power or wealth or something, hidden within the church. Unlikable Librarian wants to uncover said treasure, as he "doesn't want to spend his life looking at old books" (Then why did he become a librarian?). While looking for the secret thing-a-ma-bob, Unlikable Librarian unleashes an evil force (as is expected) that soon takes over the whole dang church, which seals itself like some ancient pyramid. One extremely old priest, whose skin looks like it is made up entirely of dried glue, can't wait for the demons to take over the Earth, and to help them along he impales himself on a big spike.
Among the folks locked in the temple are a fashion photography crew, some school children on a tour, two bickering motorcyclists, and an elderly couple. The elderly couple is a curmudgeonly old man and a flighty old woman who says "fab" and "groovy" too much. All of these folks end up dying in clever, occasionally artsy ways. There are tons of great scenes, like the old lady ringing a bell by smashing her husband's severed head against it, and a chick's face getting liquefied by an oncoming subway car. There's a pneumatic hammer through the gut, someone ripping out their own beating heart, a chick getting impaled on a fence, a big, impressive demon gettin' it on with a hot naked chick, a model clawing off her own face, and a fat kid who looks like Cousin Oliver from "The Brady Bunch" who yells "Hi Ho, Silver!" and runs away slapping his butt.
"The Church" is swell, much better than either of the "Demons" movies (this was originally planned as "Demons 3"). Seek out the unrated, letterboxed video and enjoy!
It opens with a neat prologue showing some bucket-headed knights laying waste to a village of devil worshippers. During the fray, one peasant's head is lopped off and kicked around by horses (the movie is full of neat details like that). Eventually all the devil worshippers and all their animals are thrown in a big pit to be buried (a wonderful image), and a church is built on the accursed ground.
A stylish tracking shot welcomes us to the present, and to a huge, ornamental cathedral with cool demons painted on the walls, where we are introduced to various interesting characters, including a nice girl named Lotte (winningly played by Dario Argento's daughter Asia), a handsome young priest (Hugh Quarshie, who went on to be in "Star Wars: Episode One- The Phantom Menace", a significantly less satisfying flick), and an unlikable librarian who kind of looks like John Glover.
Unlikable Librarian discovers an ancient document promising power or wealth or something, hidden within the church. Unlikable Librarian wants to uncover said treasure, as he "doesn't want to spend his life looking at old books" (Then why did he become a librarian?). While looking for the secret thing-a-ma-bob, Unlikable Librarian unleashes an evil force (as is expected) that soon takes over the whole dang church, which seals itself like some ancient pyramid. One extremely old priest, whose skin looks like it is made up entirely of dried glue, can't wait for the demons to take over the Earth, and to help them along he impales himself on a big spike.
Among the folks locked in the temple are a fashion photography crew, some school children on a tour, two bickering motorcyclists, and an elderly couple. The elderly couple is a curmudgeonly old man and a flighty old woman who says "fab" and "groovy" too much. All of these folks end up dying in clever, occasionally artsy ways. There are tons of great scenes, like the old lady ringing a bell by smashing her husband's severed head against it, and a chick's face getting liquefied by an oncoming subway car. There's a pneumatic hammer through the gut, someone ripping out their own beating heart, a chick getting impaled on a fence, a big, impressive demon gettin' it on with a hot naked chick, a model clawing off her own face, and a fat kid who looks like Cousin Oliver from "The Brady Bunch" who yells "Hi Ho, Silver!" and runs away slapping his butt.
"The Church" is swell, much better than either of the "Demons" movies (this was originally planned as "Demons 3"). Seek out the unrated, letterboxed video and enjoy!