...there was a production company that wanted to make a sword-and-sorcery flick on a shoestring budget. So they hired out a California Rennaisance Festival and had the extras wander around in front of the merchant shops, and used them for the backdrop of an unoriginal story about a kid, a whore, and Leonardo daVinci (I am SO not making this up) off to find a bunch of junk Archimedes left lying around after the fall of Rome.
Of course, it fails spectacularly. It fails even more spectacularly if you're actually involved in RenFest or SCA-type activities, because then you can tell that the costumes on the extras come from about fifteen different time periods and locations. And that nobody, no not even the Vikings, wore horns on their helmets the way the Vulchare's henchmen do. And that nobody PERIOD would have dressed in the EFX-chorus costumes they stuck Olivia Hussey and David Warner (as Vulchare) into.
The painful segments of this film are innumerable. Such as the pee-throwing scene. Or "advanced" spy techniques employed by the Delta Knights, which involve meteorlogical discussions and that writing-with-lemon-juice-on-paper-and-heating-it-to-reveal-secret-message trick that children's science shows always do. Or Richard Kind in an annoying cameo and possibly the worst fake beard in film history (yes, even counting the wool on Captain Santa's face in Space Mutiny). Or the way the whore solicits the kid for sex even though he's not old enough to shave. Or the guys who wear Halloween masks and live in a summer camp obsticale course, one of whom screams "I'M COMMMIIIIIIIIIIING!" in what sounds for all the world like Cheech Marin's voice. Or the notion that Leonardo wasn't a genius, he was an irritating schmuck who stole all his ideas from Archimedes.
The MST3K version, of course, is priceless. I highly recommend it--it will ease the pain.
Of course, it fails spectacularly. It fails even more spectacularly if you're actually involved in RenFest or SCA-type activities, because then you can tell that the costumes on the extras come from about fifteen different time periods and locations. And that nobody, no not even the Vikings, wore horns on their helmets the way the Vulchare's henchmen do. And that nobody PERIOD would have dressed in the EFX-chorus costumes they stuck Olivia Hussey and David Warner (as Vulchare) into.
The painful segments of this film are innumerable. Such as the pee-throwing scene. Or "advanced" spy techniques employed by the Delta Knights, which involve meteorlogical discussions and that writing-with-lemon-juice-on-paper-and-heating-it-to-reveal-secret-message trick that children's science shows always do. Or Richard Kind in an annoying cameo and possibly the worst fake beard in film history (yes, even counting the wool on Captain Santa's face in Space Mutiny). Or the way the whore solicits the kid for sex even though he's not old enough to shave. Or the guys who wear Halloween masks and live in a summer camp obsticale course, one of whom screams "I'M COMMMIIIIIIIIIIING!" in what sounds for all the world like Cheech Marin's voice. Or the notion that Leonardo wasn't a genius, he was an irritating schmuck who stole all his ideas from Archimedes.
The MST3K version, of course, is priceless. I highly recommend it--it will ease the pain.