1/10
The Next Worst Thing
23 February 2001
Warning: Spoilers
This movie definitely ranks among the worst director John Schlesinger has ever made. Visually brilliant movies like URBAN COWBOY seem long gone if compared to this - pardon me - extraordinary piece of crap!

Madonna delivers an overwhelmingly shallow performance while Rupert Everett has to deal with her moron behavior as the film´s character Abbie.

Maybe Madonna decided to make a movie about her coming of age as a superstar - searching for the right guy to raise her child with. I really think she deserves her husband in real life, Guy Ritchie.

But I can´t bear her attitude towards her gay friend, whom she chooses to be the child´s father - played by Everett. First of all, she lies to him, saying he´s the father of her child. When she finally meets Mr. Right, she doesn´t seem to care about him any longer, treating him like an unloved being.

Accordingly, she abducts the child from the shared apartment to solve the problem that unfolds when she meets her new lover. Correctly, Everett deems himself forced to take their case to a California court.

It is there, however, that Everett learns Madonna has played tricks on him - since he isn´t the real father of the child. He is then - on top of everything - blamed with ruining Madonna´s life.

Nobody asks how Everett must feel about the whole story..

I simply think that this movie is - apart from the terrible storyline - unbearable. You can´t just walk away with a film like this, which incorporates an attack on the self esteem of all gay men!!

Madonna ought to stick to her music career at last, since she doing fine in that area. But I strongly advise her to keep her fingers off the filmmaking business!

The movie is pure bad taste!!!!
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