Review of The Beach

The Beach (I) (2000)
2/10
help!
12 April 2003
Please help me! I've seen "The Beach". I wish it never happened. But it did. Unfortunately. I mean, come on, what was this supposed to be?? The voice over was definitely taken from Fight Club, as was the "Brad Pitt" style and look, but DiCaprio is no Pitt and no Norton either, and the voice over gets pretty annoying quite soon. Not even to mention the contents. Or the content of the entire movie, for crying out loud. Don't even get me started here, because it's loaded with sheer nonsense and stupidity. Let me just give a couple of highlights:

  • Why are their faces so 'clean'? Places like that are loaded with mosquitos and all kinds of other insects that turn life into hell. But no, they keep their pretty little faces.


  • Why do they fish??? They can go to the mainland to get whatever they want! What an incredibly stupid story line that is.


  • I'm getting increasingly annoyed with all these women in films _telling_ men when they're gonna do it, and when not: "We have sex now."


  • And why is it OK for that French girl to cheat, but if DiCaprio does it, she's completely p***ed off. But I guess this _is_ just realistic.


And don't even mention the "computer game"..... Sigh.....

I don't have to linger over this one; here it comes.

Rating from the Dutch judge: 1 (out of 10).
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