Much as I generally enjoy watching good old Mr. Lambert messing about in the usual mindless, middle-of-the-road sci-fi shenanigans that he likes to frequent, I get no satisfaction whatsoever from seeing him jump up and down violently on what's left of his career in a sick-makingly irredeemable cinematic dog such as this.
Like so many reviewers before me, I just don't know where to begin.
Let's see: a shockingly bad soundtrack, editing the likes of which I've never seen, pointless, half-finished subplots, props and costumes that look like they were bought from the joke shop down the road (well, from some comedian in the nearest Bulgarian farming village, anyway), the criminal comparison to Braveheart on the video sleeve, dialogue that makes Hellgate and Slugs sound like they were written by David Mamet, and the most Austrian Austrian they could find to star as the most Roman Roman of all time, Caesar. Worst of all, the "kill me now" plea so obvious in Mr. Lambert's eyes (when you can see them through the hair) from start through to merciful finish.
Easily the worst film I've seen for years. And in the last few years I've seen Octopus, Spiders, Spiders 2, Ripper, Bats, Turbulence 3 and Deathstalker IV. Somebody tell Christopher Lambert that it's not funny any more.
Like so many reviewers before me, I just don't know where to begin.
Let's see: a shockingly bad soundtrack, editing the likes of which I've never seen, pointless, half-finished subplots, props and costumes that look like they were bought from the joke shop down the road (well, from some comedian in the nearest Bulgarian farming village, anyway), the criminal comparison to Braveheart on the video sleeve, dialogue that makes Hellgate and Slugs sound like they were written by David Mamet, and the most Austrian Austrian they could find to star as the most Roman Roman of all time, Caesar. Worst of all, the "kill me now" plea so obvious in Mr. Lambert's eyes (when you can see them through the hair) from start through to merciful finish.
Easily the worst film I've seen for years. And in the last few years I've seen Octopus, Spiders, Spiders 2, Ripper, Bats, Turbulence 3 and Deathstalker IV. Somebody tell Christopher Lambert that it's not funny any more.