Why wasn't this actually made?
3 December 2002
SPLATTER is interspersed between real-live action sequences of a "movie" and a documentary crew going behind the scenes to show us how the grisly fx are achieved. The "movie" portion is awful. For starters, it's shot-on-video. So right off the bat it's production values are that of your typical 80's porn. The story, or lack thereof, concerns a tribe of amazon queens doing battle with all sorts of zombies and mutants. The gore is cheap and phony, yet strangely disgusting and gratuitous. A very dated but enjoyable synth score plays throughout to spruce things up a bit. I won't lie though, this portion of the film is extremely entertaining and I wish a real movie called SPLATTER was made and not this pseudo-documentary piece. The behind-the-scenes portion of the film bogs things down a bit. Stupid humor, a dumb character named Fang and a shot that would've been cool, loses all merit when it is played over, and over and over again.

But, the most amazing thing about SPLATTER is that there once was a time when something so offbeat, so corny and low-budget like this was made. I'm talkin' 100% Velveeta here. If you dig REDNECK ZOMBIES then SPLATTER is surely worth 75 mins. of your time.
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