Review of The Touch

The Touch (2002)
3/10
Disappointing, but not surprisingly so
3 August 2002
Seeing the commercial for this movie, you know you'll be disappointed with the special effects. If you've never seen an Indiana Jones movie, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Seven Years In Tibet, nor any other HK flick, then MAYBE this movie will entertain you. Actually, comparing this to Indiana Jones, Crouching Tiger and Seven Years in Tibet would be insults to those movies. More appropriate would be Relic Hunter, Legend Of Zu, and The Golden Child. The storyline starts out decent enough, but right off the bat you'll see some hokey f/x. For the first half of the movie, the plot unfolds like many Jackie Chan-away-from-HK flix: reluctant hero, naive sibling, overly-evil Caucasian. The next paint-by-numbers HK-flik characteristic: the ol' you-wanna-pull-your-hair-out "why did he do that stupid thing" thing. That leads to the "action" part of the movie and off they go to China ... beautiful scenery a la Crouching Tiger interspersed with Relic Hunter antics. But then the almost-entertaining movie (for a HK flik) just got taken over by people who received new computers for Christmas: it became 98% computer graphics overlayed with the actors swinging on ropes. You'd expect the cheesy latest-tech graphics in Hercules or Xena because they're spoofs, but this $$$ movie ended up like Legend of Zu ... graphics fluff. Oh, the scenes at the end in Tibet? Nice travelogue. Conclusion? (Do you need to ask?) This ain't no Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon 2 the Western audience is looking for.
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