Oh my God was this movie bad! They tried to make it into a Fast and the Furious on bikes, which when you think about it, couldn't have been that difficult since F&F was no gift either. But it really is impressive how terrible this movie is!
********** SPOILERS ***************** (movie is so bad, it doesn't matter)
First of all, could they have picked a more lame name for their gang? Biker Boyz???? The main characters decide to start their own biker gang, and what do they call themselves? Biker Boyz???? Were they trying to steal the fire from the Back Street Boys? What a bunch of limp-wristed morons! And then they get two Asians who want to join..... on ATVs!!! ATV-Boyz??? Hahahahahahaha! You have to see the stunts in this pile of junk, you call those motorcycle stunts? They were terrible, I was laughing my head off when it was supposed to be cool! It was especially hilarious when the third founding member, a Latino guy, tries to show them how good he is on a bike. He actually stands up and sticks his leg off the back of the bike! That's it! Really! That's it! Oooooh, you have talent, you have to help us start a biker club!!! HAhahahahahahahahahha!
And then there is the story of how poor old Jaleel (bad name) loses his father to a bike accident (boohoo) and his mother doesn't want him involved in bikes. They (of course) live in a perfect suburban home, she drives nice cars, and wears nice clothes. But when he invites her to the annual biker party? She turns up looking like a 2-bit tramp! Way to go Mom! Hahahahahahha!
The street racing scenes were boring as sin. For instance, in the big climactic scene, the course they are racing on is on some "Greedy Farmer's Field". You can see that the finish line is only about a mile away before they even start. But they get their bikes up to 200 miles and hour and it takes roughly 10 minutes to race the mile! It was laughable! What in the world was Laurence Fishburne thinking? The only reason I gave this movie a 2 was that he was in the Matrix. That's it, there is no association with The Matrix at all, but hey, he was in it.
And there was the boohoo father-son scene, hahahahahha! Standard fare in trying to bring a smidgen of drama to the flick. Then Jaleel promises his mother he will never race again..... oooooooohhhhh! Do you think he will keep his promise????? Do you????? I don't know, there are some pretty compelling reasons to race out there!! Like, BE A MAN! A challenge was issued! And a bunch of other macho BS! HAHAHAHAHAH! I think the only audience who would be impressed are The Village People! The characters in La Cage Aux Folles were more macho than these losers! And, oh my God, I nearly forgot..... Kid Rock! HAHAHAHAHA! He should call himself Skid Rock! Hahahahaha! Man, talk about the poster boy for trailer park boys! Is he EVER gross! And you have to see his gay helmet with the dog collar! HAHAHAHAHAHA! There was nothing of interest in this movie whatsoever! Even the music was terrible, what a complete and utter waste of time! At least we all now know that Lisa Bonet is still alive...... (barely).....
********** SPOILERS ***************** (movie is so bad, it doesn't matter)
First of all, could they have picked a more lame name for their gang? Biker Boyz???? The main characters decide to start their own biker gang, and what do they call themselves? Biker Boyz???? Were they trying to steal the fire from the Back Street Boys? What a bunch of limp-wristed morons! And then they get two Asians who want to join..... on ATVs!!! ATV-Boyz??? Hahahahahahaha! You have to see the stunts in this pile of junk, you call those motorcycle stunts? They were terrible, I was laughing my head off when it was supposed to be cool! It was especially hilarious when the third founding member, a Latino guy, tries to show them how good he is on a bike. He actually stands up and sticks his leg off the back of the bike! That's it! Really! That's it! Oooooh, you have talent, you have to help us start a biker club!!! HAhahahahahahahahahha!
And then there is the story of how poor old Jaleel (bad name) loses his father to a bike accident (boohoo) and his mother doesn't want him involved in bikes. They (of course) live in a perfect suburban home, she drives nice cars, and wears nice clothes. But when he invites her to the annual biker party? She turns up looking like a 2-bit tramp! Way to go Mom! Hahahahahahha!
The street racing scenes were boring as sin. For instance, in the big climactic scene, the course they are racing on is on some "Greedy Farmer's Field". You can see that the finish line is only about a mile away before they even start. But they get their bikes up to 200 miles and hour and it takes roughly 10 minutes to race the mile! It was laughable! What in the world was Laurence Fishburne thinking? The only reason I gave this movie a 2 was that he was in the Matrix. That's it, there is no association with The Matrix at all, but hey, he was in it.
And there was the boohoo father-son scene, hahahahahha! Standard fare in trying to bring a smidgen of drama to the flick. Then Jaleel promises his mother he will never race again..... oooooooohhhhh! Do you think he will keep his promise????? Do you????? I don't know, there are some pretty compelling reasons to race out there!! Like, BE A MAN! A challenge was issued! And a bunch of other macho BS! HAHAHAHAHAH! I think the only audience who would be impressed are The Village People! The characters in La Cage Aux Folles were more macho than these losers! And, oh my God, I nearly forgot..... Kid Rock! HAHAHAHAHA! He should call himself Skid Rock! Hahahahaha! Man, talk about the poster boy for trailer park boys! Is he EVER gross! And you have to see his gay helmet with the dog collar! HAHAHAHAHAHA! There was nothing of interest in this movie whatsoever! Even the music was terrible, what a complete and utter waste of time! At least we all now know that Lisa Bonet is still alive...... (barely).....