GoldenEye: Rogue Agent (2004 Video Game)
007 Everything or Nothing...$40; GoldenEye 64...$10; GoldenEye: Rogue Agent...Painful
2 March 2005
Let me start off by saying that it wasn't the game itself that made me angry at it...it was this one level that was near impossible to pass. After that, I quit on the game until getting Action Replay codes. It also tarnishes the name of the original GoldenEye utterly, which is part of the reason I didn't like it.

GRAPHICS: The graphics are standard. Don't expect anything spectacular. Also, almost all the enemy models are the same. Even though there are some different levels here, you'll be spending most of your time shooting soldier clones and blasting rockets into airborne machines. The level design is wretching. Each level is different, like I said, but in a way, they're all the same. You'll basically be doing the same thing over and over...shooting things. So, they should've just made each level one big early level because that's the whole game. And why is it when I shoot an enemy, blue sparks fly out of him?!

SOUND: SOME of the sound is good. The problem I have is that handguns sound like peanut blasters as automatic rifles sound like rapid-fire Super Soakers. The only sound that is actually pleasant to hear is the shotgun blast from the Mamba gun, which was also my favorite gun for as long as I was playing this. I don't really have much of an opinion about the background music since I could barely hear it throughout the game. However, everyone else seems to like the music (I don't know why), so I'm not going to say much else there.

GAMEPLAY: Here's where the game falls flat...the game is nothing but constant running and gunning. This is why the game is so bland and generic, because each level is a carbon copy of one another. There are hardly any objectives to do other than killing enemies. In the original GoldenEye, each level had something unique about it. In GoldenEye 2, the entire game is basically just shooting things to death. There are only about 7 or 8 weapons in the whole game, unlike the original, which had about 20 or 30 sets of weapons to choose from. This game also has automatic weapons, but they shoot spray rounds. That requires you to really get in an enemy's face in order to make automatic rounds register. Another problem is that there's no diverse way of taking out enemies. Instead of, say, using tanks to roll through a level, you're SLOWLY running through it while shooting everything. Find a heavy rocket launcher and you'll move even slower. You've also got 4 "Eye" powers to choose from, but each of them don't have any real requirements except the "Shield" ability. In fact, levels are so repetitive, I started getting sick of it by the final level. The first thing I said was, "oh, jeez, this game isn't over yet?!" Lock-on targeting is brutal (at least you can turn it off), and there are only two cheats through the whole game. Neither of them enhance the game any more. You do get to dual wield different weapons, but you have no inventory. You can only use weapons as you find them. However, this is the only thing the game capitalizes on. Halo 2 does the same thing, but at least that game has more variety. Honestly, GE2 makes H2 look like the Word of God. What really made me mad about this game was the Dam mission where you have to escape across a dam platform in search of a bomb. I played that mission about 20 times, trying every spy technique in the book, whether it be taking cover behind structures or vehicles or blowing hordes away with the rocket launcher. Since nothing worked, I went to my Action Replay for advice. Once I got that invincibility code, I felt better about myself. I know it's cheating, but hey...as Corey Rouse always says, "when life's got you down, throw in God Mode and keep on kickin' butt." Don't even bother avoiding gunfights because it won't work.

STORY: So, let me get this straight...I'm an MI6 agent with no name, and I got kicked out of MI6 just because I let James Bond die in a V.R. simulator? Now, like the whining baby I am, I go off to work for Goldfinger just to fight with Dr. No and fight a bunch of bad guys that James Bond could dispatch himself? The ridiculous part is that I'm doing James Bond's job for him. In the original game, you could shoot civilians and scientists with a penalty attached if you kill too many. Here, there are no civilians to shoot. It's just a bunch of army guys wanting a piece of you. If I'm supposed to be so big and bad, why isn't 007 coming to hound me? Other than all that, there isn't much else to say about the story. There is one plot twist, but believe me, you'll probably see it coming from miles away. We do see a lot of familiar faces, such as M, Oddjob, and Francisco Scaramanga, but that doesn't do much to help the game.

BOTTOM LINE: This game is only worth a 2-day rental. I'm not trying to put anyone down, but if you like this game, you either can't tell the difference between a good game and a bad one, you're too young to understand, you've never played the original GoldenEye, or you're a mainstream gamer who only plays games just for a few hours of anything but being completely bored. 4/10, certainly not what I've come to expect from EA after EON. (I would've given it a 6, but that's minus 2 points for tarnishing the original game's name.) I suggest sticking with the older 007 titles. Even TND was better than this.

If you want the real GoldenEye "sequels," turn to Perfect Dark or TimeSplitters.
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