There is a bizarre reverse synergy at work in "Hobgoblins". I've seen movies with poorer acting ("EEGAH!" and any number of Italian rip offs of American hits), worse writing ("Castle of Fu Manchu"), more pathetic sets and effects ("Future War"), and more repellent performers ("Teenagers Battle the Thing"). I've seen movies which were more badly conceived and executed ("Deafula"). But "Hobgoblins" is something truly special in the Annals of Suck.
Watching this movie, I kept rubbing my eyes and smacking myself on the side of the head, thinking that maybe something was wrong with my optic nerves or focal lenses and if I could only get them jarred back into place, "Hobgoblins" might resolve into something made by human beings. Alas, this turned out not to be the case. Everything up there on the screen is there on purpose, and rarely have people collaborated to make something so completely wrongheaded and goofy.
The kids who play the leads have no frigging idea of what they are doing on camera. None. Zip, zilch, nada. (On the positive side, they seems to know their lines, and there isn't too much obvious reading from teleprompter and cue cards.) I hate to trash them too badly, because it was someone else's decision to cast them in the first place, and the director apparently had an attitude of "I just point the camera and let it roll". I'll be generous, and rate their performances slightly above those of the wives of Manos during the nightgown wrestling scenes in "Manos: The Hands Of Fate".
I've seen better monster SFX in home movies filmed by ambitious 8th graders. There are several scenes where the camera is pointed straight at one or more monsters, with nothing to disguise or soften the view, and they are so obviously stuffed puppets being shaken or held against the actors by someone's hand (just off camera), that your job drops beholding the sheer incompetence of it. Seriously, low budget soft core porn movies do a better job with their effects, and no one expects those films to even try in the first place.
The script throws in every cliché you can think of: weenie kid discovers his inner hero and becomes a man and gets the girl, shy girl has an inner slut just dying to come out, army jock is a bully, and later becomes a killing machine, old caretaker hides a dangerous secret, magical creatures doom you by granting your fondest wish, underground dance club is the scene for danger and adventure... The plot staggers drunkenly from one story element to the next, slobbers on a given theme for a few seconds and then goes on to another theme and slobbers on that one for a bit. Not one scene, not a single story thread, is ever dealt with in a convincing (or even entertaining) matter, and in the end all the viewer is left with is some vague memories of stuffed puppets and shrill trollops who resemble Lorraine Newman and a geek who whines a lot.
The first 2/3rds of the film is deliriously bad. But the inanity ramps up to unspeakable levels once the story moves to "Club Scum". This increases the number of people who don't know what they are doing in a scene from 4-5 to dozens, and the results are too appalling to describe in a family-oriented web site. I especially hated the bouncer character and the MC/announcer - they camp it up outrageously, and the viewer wishes a horrible death upon them as punishment for their sins. And the so-called band performs a song during all this ("Pig-Sticker"?? "Sh*t Kicker"?? "Pit Licker"?? "Sick Liquor"??) that qualifies as the least believable music performance in a film since the concert scene in "Howard the Duck".
You have to see this film to believe such a thing exists. I rank it as one of the most idiotic and goofy film experiences ever, and I've seen "Deafula" and "The Magic Land of Mother Goose".
Watching this movie, I kept rubbing my eyes and smacking myself on the side of the head, thinking that maybe something was wrong with my optic nerves or focal lenses and if I could only get them jarred back into place, "Hobgoblins" might resolve into something made by human beings. Alas, this turned out not to be the case. Everything up there on the screen is there on purpose, and rarely have people collaborated to make something so completely wrongheaded and goofy.
The kids who play the leads have no frigging idea of what they are doing on camera. None. Zip, zilch, nada. (On the positive side, they seems to know their lines, and there isn't too much obvious reading from teleprompter and cue cards.) I hate to trash them too badly, because it was someone else's decision to cast them in the first place, and the director apparently had an attitude of "I just point the camera and let it roll". I'll be generous, and rate their performances slightly above those of the wives of Manos during the nightgown wrestling scenes in "Manos: The Hands Of Fate".
I've seen better monster SFX in home movies filmed by ambitious 8th graders. There are several scenes where the camera is pointed straight at one or more monsters, with nothing to disguise or soften the view, and they are so obviously stuffed puppets being shaken or held against the actors by someone's hand (just off camera), that your job drops beholding the sheer incompetence of it. Seriously, low budget soft core porn movies do a better job with their effects, and no one expects those films to even try in the first place.
The script throws in every cliché you can think of: weenie kid discovers his inner hero and becomes a man and gets the girl, shy girl has an inner slut just dying to come out, army jock is a bully, and later becomes a killing machine, old caretaker hides a dangerous secret, magical creatures doom you by granting your fondest wish, underground dance club is the scene for danger and adventure... The plot staggers drunkenly from one story element to the next, slobbers on a given theme for a few seconds and then goes on to another theme and slobbers on that one for a bit. Not one scene, not a single story thread, is ever dealt with in a convincing (or even entertaining) matter, and in the end all the viewer is left with is some vague memories of stuffed puppets and shrill trollops who resemble Lorraine Newman and a geek who whines a lot.
The first 2/3rds of the film is deliriously bad. But the inanity ramps up to unspeakable levels once the story moves to "Club Scum". This increases the number of people who don't know what they are doing in a scene from 4-5 to dozens, and the results are too appalling to describe in a family-oriented web site. I especially hated the bouncer character and the MC/announcer - they camp it up outrageously, and the viewer wishes a horrible death upon them as punishment for their sins. And the so-called band performs a song during all this ("Pig-Sticker"?? "Sh*t Kicker"?? "Pit Licker"?? "Sick Liquor"??) that qualifies as the least believable music performance in a film since the concert scene in "Howard the Duck".
You have to see this film to believe such a thing exists. I rank it as one of the most idiotic and goofy film experiences ever, and I've seen "Deafula" and "The Magic Land of Mother Goose".