It's 4:30 a.m. Top executive Mom groans, thumps off the alarm and staggers out of bed. She's got an early morning flight. Respected film-maker Dad mumbles, "Remember to reset the clock." She doesn't, of course.
It's 7:56 a.m. Dad squints at the clock, hollers, "Oh, s**t! Kids, up, up, up, up!," followed by, "We're late. Your mother forgot to reset the alarm. Again!," as he slams together that staple of popular cinema, the breakfast no-one has time to eat.
It's never occurred to either of these Movers and Shakers to buy a second clock. Their alarm-challenged children clatter downstairs, the daughter whining, "Ohmigod, it's late. I have to be at school early today!" Buy an alarm clock, kid. Better yet, read the little book that comes with your beloved mobile phone and see if it has an alarm function.
After hanging Mom for the clock fiasco, Dad decides "the city" is to blame for all their woes. The Green Acres Four treat themselves to an unauthorised viewing of a crumbling country estate that's been foreclosed by the bank. The house is furnished. There's an unmade bed. Yet they roam freely, snooping through family photos and papers.
They buy The Old Massie Place at a knockdown price. Dad's inspired to create one of his "labour of love" documentaries. This consists of "creating a time-line" (i.e., skewering vintage photographs with thumbtacks) and having a goggle at some highly personal Polaroids of the previous owner's wife. Out of "miles" of home movie footage, a poolside scene featuring this attractive young woman and her daughter in bikinis seems to be especially pertinent.
When "Just Out of Jail" Dale Massie shows up looking for work, Dad ignores the protests of his vulnerable teenage daughter and hires the guy for unsupervised work around the house. This is even stupider than the alarm clock situation.
The only vaguely plausible reason Dad could have for inviting this guy into the family home is to help with the documentary. Dale's brimming with family anecdotes ("my grandmother built that pool in 1926"), but Dad acts bored and exasperated when he's around. In a classic scene, Dad's tinkering about on his laptop with archive footage of NYC. Since his budget to too low to hire voice-over talent, his own voice is droning on about cast-iron architecture.
Wielding one of the farm implements Dad doesn't have a clue about, shirtless, sweaty Dale explains that it's a killing hammer, designed by Grandpa Massie and his blacksmith. Articulate, informative and sleazily attractive, he winds up his narrative with, "Look at the spike. Straight into the brain. A small little clean hole right through the skull. Bam! No bone splinters. No pain." Grab your camera, Dad! This is Good Stuff! But no, Dad can't wait for Dale to hightail it out of the house so he can go back to making The Most Boring Documentary in the World. Throw in Dead Meat the Pony and Mobiles Don't Work in the Valley, and you've got all the ingredients for a nice long snooze. Don't forget to set the alarm.
It's 7:56 a.m. Dad squints at the clock, hollers, "Oh, s**t! Kids, up, up, up, up!," followed by, "We're late. Your mother forgot to reset the alarm. Again!," as he slams together that staple of popular cinema, the breakfast no-one has time to eat.
It's never occurred to either of these Movers and Shakers to buy a second clock. Their alarm-challenged children clatter downstairs, the daughter whining, "Ohmigod, it's late. I have to be at school early today!" Buy an alarm clock, kid. Better yet, read the little book that comes with your beloved mobile phone and see if it has an alarm function.
After hanging Mom for the clock fiasco, Dad decides "the city" is to blame for all their woes. The Green Acres Four treat themselves to an unauthorised viewing of a crumbling country estate that's been foreclosed by the bank. The house is furnished. There's an unmade bed. Yet they roam freely, snooping through family photos and papers.
They buy The Old Massie Place at a knockdown price. Dad's inspired to create one of his "labour of love" documentaries. This consists of "creating a time-line" (i.e., skewering vintage photographs with thumbtacks) and having a goggle at some highly personal Polaroids of the previous owner's wife. Out of "miles" of home movie footage, a poolside scene featuring this attractive young woman and her daughter in bikinis seems to be especially pertinent.
When "Just Out of Jail" Dale Massie shows up looking for work, Dad ignores the protests of his vulnerable teenage daughter and hires the guy for unsupervised work around the house. This is even stupider than the alarm clock situation.
The only vaguely plausible reason Dad could have for inviting this guy into the family home is to help with the documentary. Dale's brimming with family anecdotes ("my grandmother built that pool in 1926"), but Dad acts bored and exasperated when he's around. In a classic scene, Dad's tinkering about on his laptop with archive footage of NYC. Since his budget to too low to hire voice-over talent, his own voice is droning on about cast-iron architecture.
Wielding one of the farm implements Dad doesn't have a clue about, shirtless, sweaty Dale explains that it's a killing hammer, designed by Grandpa Massie and his blacksmith. Articulate, informative and sleazily attractive, he winds up his narrative with, "Look at the spike. Straight into the brain. A small little clean hole right through the skull. Bam! No bone splinters. No pain." Grab your camera, Dad! This is Good Stuff! But no, Dad can't wait for Dale to hightail it out of the house so he can go back to making The Most Boring Documentary in the World. Throw in Dead Meat the Pony and Mobiles Don't Work in the Valley, and you've got all the ingredients for a nice long snooze. Don't forget to set the alarm.