Review of Doom

Doom (2005)
2/10
Painfully Disappointing
26 October 2005
This film can be viewed fro 2 separate perspectives. From that of a Doom video game fan, and from that of a casual movie-goer. Both will be disappointed.

I entered Doom on opening night (with the help of a older friends ID) and was not expecting a lot. From what I had read prior, I was certain that this was the most accurate video game to film adaptation created and was sure to please Doom fans (of which I am). Did I ever hear wrong.

From the perspective of a Doom fan, this movie COMPLETELY trashes any major story elements from the game, and what we're left with is a few blatant purely visual snippets from the game (ie: Mars, Sarge, BFG, Pinky, etc.) Why do directors/Writers think such alterations are necessary. Where's Hell? come on. How can they go to the press and say "Im sure this movie will satisfy fans of the game." Are you joking? How could fans be satisfied if all they get is a rehash of what they are expecting. Terrible.

Outside of the fact that this film is entirely unfaithful to the game, it is simply Just a Terrible Movie. People expecting a fast, mindless run-n-gun Schwarzenegger flick can spend the first half of the movie wondering where their $10 went. The exposition in this film is so drawn out and pointless. Used entirely for cheap Doom references and painful one-liners. The introduced characters are clichés (as expected), but they are brought to a new low in this film with some of the worst dialogue and writing ever conceived. The main character(s) have a troubling backstory dealing with their parents that is built up in several sense with the sounds of children screaming. By the end of the film you may scratch your head wondering why they completely forgot to conclude this. It's almost a joke. Maybe they thought we wouldn't care after we had been enlightened by the FPS (First Person Shooter) segment of the film. This again is an over-hyped joke. It's essentially an unfun version of House of the Dead. This is of course then followed by the great showdown between the main characters. Let's just say I don't remember any wire-fu in Doom. Poor wire-fu at that.

Alongside all of this, continuity errors are rampant, the 'eff' word is used so excessively in one seen which actually brought me to laughter (not unlike many other moments in this film), and never have special effects looked sadder. You may as well be able to see the zipper on the rubber suit. Other issues such as the fact that this is unarguably like the Alien films, and how, and I quote, "they look more like office workers playing a game of paint ball than trained space marines", make this possibly the worst video game to movie attempt. This is also of course easily the worst movie of the fall, if not of the year.

For all those out there too young or un-resourceful to have failed at seeing this movie, consider yourselves lucky.
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