4/10
Reminds Me Of Other ( Poor ) British Comedy Thrillers
14 November 2005
FIVE SECONDS TO SPARE is yet another British movie made at the turn of the century that can't decide want it wants to be and instantly reminded me of countless other British films that came out at the same time proving yet again that if you want to get your movie financied knowing people in the business is imperative while possessing screen writing skills is not a priority

The story starts with our protagonist William witnessing a gruesome murder . The narrative then jumps back in time and shows us that William is a budding musician who has moved to London as a career move . It's at this point FIVE SECONDS TO SPARE decides it's going to be a comedy and I can't communicate how the opening murder jars with everything else in the story . Anyone seen YOUNG SOUL REBELS ? This was another British movie that opened with a murder then for some inexplicable reason decided it was going to be about the London soul scene in the 1970s . If a movie starts with a bloody murder shouldn't it remain a thriller and not become a comedy ?

The movie also suffers from too many pointless cameos . Anyone seen MAD COWS ? We've got John Peel playing himself along with Ray Winston playing ...well Ray Winston . We've also got Sean Pertwee who obviously just turned up so he could say he's appeared in every British movie made in the last five years and since Keith Allen was busy that week we've got Andy Serkis playing Allen's role . If the " Brit Pack " want to get together can't they just meet up at someones house instead of producing a movie ? And like MAD COWS the humour is silly and unconvincing instead of being funny

I could spend a lot of time dissecting what is wrong with this movie but I can't really be bothered except to say it's yet another British movie that was rushed into production with a painfully underdeveloped script . No doubt the people who worked on FIVE SECONDS TO SPARE had a great time unlike the audience and if you've got a couple of hours to spare I'm sure it can be spent more wisely than watching this
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