6/10
All The Right Parts...But Still Just Doesn't Add Up
2 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
GUTS OF A VIRGIN is a pretty poor J-exploit/horror film that just doesn't live up to it's reputation, in my opinion. This film never seems to know what it's trying to be - unequal parts comedy, slasher film, live-action manga, exploitation, porn - normally a film with that many cool elements should be great, right? "Should" is the key word...

GUTS starts off with a bunch of strung together sex photo shoot/porn shots with the intention of establishing the fact that the lead characters all work together in the adult photo business (porn part). One foggy night our unlucky bunch hits something while driving home from a photo shoot. The gang heads a little further down the road until they come to some sort of deserted warehouse thing and they decide to stop there for the night. Little does our hapless crew know that they've been followed by the "person" that they hit a little while back and are now being stalked (slasher film part). Once inside the warehouse, the crew settles in for some relaxation and a few drinks. At this point there is a truly hilarious scene where one of the male leads strips down, grabs one of the girls, tears her clothes off and starts doing WWF wrestling moves on her!!! (this would qualify as the comedy part...). Next, the two main male leads try to get some pussy from some of their female companions by basically forcing themselves on the innocent and defenseless girls (exploit/more porn parts). Meanwhile, our stalker (who looks like a guy caked in mud) is watching all this. The party starts to break up and our stalker starts picking off the party-goers one-by-one. During the 1st kill scene, we also find that our stalker has an enormous, donkey-sized penis and that he likes to rape his victims before disposing of them. Then towards the end, we find out that our stalker is actually some kind of demon (live-action manga part), which comes totally out of left field and makes no real sense at all. A few more weird things happen and that's pretty much the end...

Now, if I had never seen the film and just read that, I would think that GUTS OF A VIRGIN sounds like the coolest film ever made! Take it from me - it's not. There are few cool scenes but the whole film is so amateurish and disjointed that it takes the "fun" out of it. Maybe if I'd have been really drunk during my initial viewing I would have enjoyed it more, but as it is, I gotta say I was pretty disappointed. A couple of cool scenes (the fisting-to-intestines-ripped-from-vagina scene WAS pretty classic...)and a laugh or two bump GUTS up to a generous 6/10, but I can really only recommend this one only if you've heard about it and HAVE to see it for yourself, or for hard-core fans of J-horror/sleaze that won't rest until they've seen every piece of trash out there (like me...). Maybe I'll watch this one again when I'm drunk and revise my score...then again...maybe not. 6/10
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