This movie is one of the most horrible experiences of my life. With once having sat through twelve hours of constipation, I have yet to sit through a dump that was more excruciatingly painful than watching this two hour film. The worst part is it isn't even two hours, it's eighty minutes, but it makes you feel like you must have aged four or five years through this. I feel they must have added in Sophie Monk and Carmen Electra not because of their amazing acting talent, but because they felt the humor was so poor they needed to wake people up from this painfully dumb movie. The audience's reaction to the film provided more laughs than the actual movie itself. I can't decide whether I find it comical or depressing that this film managed to parody movie scenes and make them worse. Truly, the people saying these writers aren't talented are wrong, it takes an art to be able to make something this bad. The movie is a complete non sequiter too. In one scene, after the family has toasted at the rehearsal wedding dinner table, Lil' Jon comes in and says, "What? Yeah. Okay." and that's the punch line. Seriously, Hotel Rwanda was funnier than this movie. The film also contains tons of gross out humor, with a man coughing up a hairball, a woman with a hairy back, and a cat humping a corpse. Real clever guys. This is the kind of stuff that makes angels cry, and kills orphan babies. I would've walked out of this monstrosity had it not been for me hoping that maybe, just maybe, it might be slightly enjoyable than the previous torturous minutes. I mean you know something is wrong when the funniest part of a movie is a cat crapping into a toilet. This film is only really a mess of parodies thrown together that don't make any sense. I really have to say it's as witty as it gets when Frodo delivers a swift kick to the nads of Gandolf, and he screams, "My precious!" Finally, the ending seemed to have been thrown in to make an attempt to give the male audience a boner so maybe the wouldn't come out of the theater asking for a gun. No, the worst travesty is not that I spent $6.75 on this movie, but that I will never be the same person I was before. This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Don't go see this under any circumstances. If your significant other wants to see this, fake your death. Anyway you can get out of this movie is truly a blessing.
P.S. My cellphone started ringing during the movie. Why, oh why didn't I pick it up? Seriously, man eating on the phone would have been more entertaining than this movie.
P.S. My cellphone started ringing during the movie. Why, oh why didn't I pick it up? Seriously, man eating on the phone would have been more entertaining than this movie.