Everyone's favourite Passions star (IVY CRANE!!!!) lights up the screen in this horrifically bad schlock horror. (By 'schlock' I mean horror so bad that it isn't even funny!) Now I love bad horror...But this was beyond the joke.
A woman, whose police-officer husband has just been shot to death in a car jacking, buys a strange relic in an antique store. Despite the warnings of the badly-dressed witch running the store (who looks suspiciously like Stevie Nicks), she buys the lump of stone that looks like it belongs in the bowl of a public toilet.
While she cries at home and wishes to have her husband back just one last time, her tear hits the 'turd rock' and her prayers are answered. Her husband returns and they go at it like rabbits in 7 seconds of tacky, mild sex.
After waking, 'Ivy Crane' finds a strange dwarf in her shower with annoyingly squinty eyes and really bad dentures. He demands her first-born child and she refuses.
From here, the movie involves 'Ivy' running from the little gremlin and causing the deaths of friends and by-standers along the way.
The horror is bland. The supporting cast are probably now in rehab. The one-liners are cornier than creamed corn smeared on a cob of the vegetable of the same name.
I now realise why this movie looks so 80s, despite being released in 1996. It was so bad that every major studio turned it down over a period of 16 years. AVOID!
A woman, whose police-officer husband has just been shot to death in a car jacking, buys a strange relic in an antique store. Despite the warnings of the badly-dressed witch running the store (who looks suspiciously like Stevie Nicks), she buys the lump of stone that looks like it belongs in the bowl of a public toilet.
While she cries at home and wishes to have her husband back just one last time, her tear hits the 'turd rock' and her prayers are answered. Her husband returns and they go at it like rabbits in 7 seconds of tacky, mild sex.
After waking, 'Ivy Crane' finds a strange dwarf in her shower with annoyingly squinty eyes and really bad dentures. He demands her first-born child and she refuses.
From here, the movie involves 'Ivy' running from the little gremlin and causing the deaths of friends and by-standers along the way.
The horror is bland. The supporting cast are probably now in rehab. The one-liners are cornier than creamed corn smeared on a cob of the vegetable of the same name.
I now realise why this movie looks so 80s, despite being released in 1996. It was so bad that every major studio turned it down over a period of 16 years. AVOID!