Many questions pass through one's head while watching Karan Johar's latest magnum opus multi-starrer "Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna": first, Why has he cast Shah Rukh Khan in one of the most underwritten and unsympathetic roles of his career? Why has he chosen to situate his "adulterous" film in the US instead of India? Why does he insist on including crude humor and random gay references in his films? (I'll leave the second-guessing about KJ's sexuality to others), how does a ballsy career woman (Preity Zinta) berating her disabled husband earn the audience's only measurable respect and compassion? Why does Maya want to marry Rishi? (and then later, why does Rishi want to stay married to Ms. Misery?) And most puzzling of all, why oh why is Rani Mukherjee crying continuously, endlessly, interminably on screen for the last hour of a film that feels twice as long as its 22 reels? The biggest question of all is why he ever decided to make a film about marital infidelity in the first place. Clearly, for Mr. Johar, the idea of soul-mates (damn you, "Dil To Pagal Hai"!) supersedes any of marital fidelity or devotion. Believe it or not, we have the first Bollywood film (and I use that term disparagingly) which pronounces, without hesitation, that extra-marital affairs are perfectly acceptable so long as one has the affair with their presumed soul mate. If this doesn't rile up the moralists who stayed away from the masterpiece called "Omkara" because of its frank use of violence and verbal vulgarities, well, my suspicions about the double standards of the film-going masses will be confirmed.
For those of you who haven't heard yet, here's what the film is about: Dev (SRK) is married-rather sullenly-to an ambitious and successful magazine editor, Rhea (Preity Zinta). Maya (Rani Mukherjee), a character so bland and boring, even by Ms. Mukherjee's banal standards, is married-inexplicably- to Rishi (Abhishek Bachchan), an executive of a PR Firm. Then there are the other superstars who appear presumably because Mr. Johar has a dozen superstar quota to fill with each release: lecherous Samarjit (Amitabh Bachchan, who apparently shares the same costume designer as Star Jones), Dev's mother Kamaljit (Kirron Kher), Rhea's hunky co-worker Jai (Arjun Rampal), an anonymous disc jockey telling us "Where's the Party Tonight?" (John Abraham) and last but certainly not unexpected, Kajol as dancing fodder for father and son in "Rock 'N Roll Soniye". Karan Johar himself appears in a brief moment on a train during one of Ms. Mukherjee's climactic breakdowns. After a certain point, one begins to wonder who else might pop up on screen- where are Johar House favorites Kareena Kapoor, Juhi Chawla, and Hrithik Roshan? Presumably making better career choices.
Dev is a failed soccer player; Rhea a money-making career-woman; Maya a humble school teacher, and Rishi a sexually frustrated party-planner. Both marriages in trouble, Dev and Maya strike up a friendship to try and save their marriages. Friendship turns into what we are to presume is Love, capital "L". Both Rhea and Rishi think their relationships with their spouses are improving, all the while Dev and Maya are checked into the Radisson, presumably NOT under the name of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. And yes, if you're wondering, Maya manages to weep through adulterous sex. Ultimately, both philanderers reveal the affairs to their spouses, who dump them like Enron stocks.
But it doesn't end there. The last excruciating hour takes us on a tour of emotional convolution so bizarre and grotesque that one wonders if the film was originally meant to be a comedy, or if Johar hired out the staff writers of India's most hyper-melodramatic soap operas. Rishi marries a pretty model-type named Catherine (Saira Mohan- Urmila, where were you?), while Rhea finds herself with a pretty model-type named Jai (Arjun Rampal). As for what happens with Dev and Maya, it must be seen to be believed; though if you honestly care, well, good for you.
As light and fluffy as Johar's two previous films were, they demonstrated cohesion of vision and thought, neither of which are present in KANK. The script is lagging in more ways than can be counted, the direction is frequently aimless, and the performances are, at best, a mixed bag. SRK hems and haws and then hams in characteristic fashion. Dev is neither particularly interesting, nor is he at all sympathetic. What can one say about a man who threatens his 7 year-old son with dismemberment? Rani Mukherjee is even worse off, injecting neither depth nor complexity nor chaos into a character who should be defined by all three (though she should get some credit for spending so much of her time on the sets crying, bawling, and weeping- did I mention she sheds enough tears to fill the Red Sea?) Preity Zinta is the most impressive of the lot, delivering a restrained and subtle performance which brings out the finesse in her, a truly remarkable feat considering that not a single scene is written from her perspective. Rhea should have been the coldest and most callous character in the group, yet she manages to garner the greatest sympathy. Bachchan Jr. is also quite watchable in his role as Desperate Husband, by turns charming, funny, and familiar. He probably stands to gain the most from the film, if it ends up doing well. Bachchan Sr. is also quite likable in his role as resident Lech Extraordinaire. The rest of cast is strictly serviceable.
If there is any reason to recommend the film, it is because it treads into a darker territory than Hindi Cinema cares to know. Mr. Johar should get some credit for trying. But trying is not the same thing as succeeding. Better luck next time; better yet, stick to what you know: Shah Rukh Khan, Designer Dresses, and the Hindu Family Values Musical. Mr. Barjatya and Mr. Bhansalli can't do it alone . . .
For those of you who haven't heard yet, here's what the film is about: Dev (SRK) is married-rather sullenly-to an ambitious and successful magazine editor, Rhea (Preity Zinta). Maya (Rani Mukherjee), a character so bland and boring, even by Ms. Mukherjee's banal standards, is married-inexplicably- to Rishi (Abhishek Bachchan), an executive of a PR Firm. Then there are the other superstars who appear presumably because Mr. Johar has a dozen superstar quota to fill with each release: lecherous Samarjit (Amitabh Bachchan, who apparently shares the same costume designer as Star Jones), Dev's mother Kamaljit (Kirron Kher), Rhea's hunky co-worker Jai (Arjun Rampal), an anonymous disc jockey telling us "Where's the Party Tonight?" (John Abraham) and last but certainly not unexpected, Kajol as dancing fodder for father and son in "Rock 'N Roll Soniye". Karan Johar himself appears in a brief moment on a train during one of Ms. Mukherjee's climactic breakdowns. After a certain point, one begins to wonder who else might pop up on screen- where are Johar House favorites Kareena Kapoor, Juhi Chawla, and Hrithik Roshan? Presumably making better career choices.
Dev is a failed soccer player; Rhea a money-making career-woman; Maya a humble school teacher, and Rishi a sexually frustrated party-planner. Both marriages in trouble, Dev and Maya strike up a friendship to try and save their marriages. Friendship turns into what we are to presume is Love, capital "L". Both Rhea and Rishi think their relationships with their spouses are improving, all the while Dev and Maya are checked into the Radisson, presumably NOT under the name of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. And yes, if you're wondering, Maya manages to weep through adulterous sex. Ultimately, both philanderers reveal the affairs to their spouses, who dump them like Enron stocks.
But it doesn't end there. The last excruciating hour takes us on a tour of emotional convolution so bizarre and grotesque that one wonders if the film was originally meant to be a comedy, or if Johar hired out the staff writers of India's most hyper-melodramatic soap operas. Rishi marries a pretty model-type named Catherine (Saira Mohan- Urmila, where were you?), while Rhea finds herself with a pretty model-type named Jai (Arjun Rampal). As for what happens with Dev and Maya, it must be seen to be believed; though if you honestly care, well, good for you.
As light and fluffy as Johar's two previous films were, they demonstrated cohesion of vision and thought, neither of which are present in KANK. The script is lagging in more ways than can be counted, the direction is frequently aimless, and the performances are, at best, a mixed bag. SRK hems and haws and then hams in characteristic fashion. Dev is neither particularly interesting, nor is he at all sympathetic. What can one say about a man who threatens his 7 year-old son with dismemberment? Rani Mukherjee is even worse off, injecting neither depth nor complexity nor chaos into a character who should be defined by all three (though she should get some credit for spending so much of her time on the sets crying, bawling, and weeping- did I mention she sheds enough tears to fill the Red Sea?) Preity Zinta is the most impressive of the lot, delivering a restrained and subtle performance which brings out the finesse in her, a truly remarkable feat considering that not a single scene is written from her perspective. Rhea should have been the coldest and most callous character in the group, yet she manages to garner the greatest sympathy. Bachchan Jr. is also quite watchable in his role as Desperate Husband, by turns charming, funny, and familiar. He probably stands to gain the most from the film, if it ends up doing well. Bachchan Sr. is also quite likable in his role as resident Lech Extraordinaire. The rest of cast is strictly serviceable.
If there is any reason to recommend the film, it is because it treads into a darker territory than Hindi Cinema cares to know. Mr. Johar should get some credit for trying. But trying is not the same thing as succeeding. Better luck next time; better yet, stick to what you know: Shah Rukh Khan, Designer Dresses, and the Hindu Family Values Musical. Mr. Barjatya and Mr. Bhansalli can't do it alone . . .