Review of Midnight

Midnight (1988)
2/10
Would-be Hollywood satire
14 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Lynn Redgrave hits a career low as a thoroughly repulsive actress who works part-time as a horror movie hostess called Midnight (rising from a coffin and screeching like The Crypt Keeper) and full time at being a stupid and obnoxious bitch named Vera. Even more shocking than her tacky get-up (ghost-face, outrageous eyeliner, black crimped wig and spandex jumpsuits) is how she manages to keep a job with her third-rate act and flagrantly irritating demeanor; degrading her fans on a regular basis, telling a female reporter "How would you like it if I sat on your face?" and getting mouthy with the producer of her show. One day, Midnight notices that dim-bulb, motorcycle-riding, "hunk" and aspiring actor Mickey (Steve Parrish) is following her around ("I'm your biggest fan!"), so she reacts to this stalker by screwing him and letting him move into her large L.A. mansion the same day. Tony Curtis (whose career has seen much better days) is Mr. B, a slimy TV mogul usually surrounded by bikini-clad starlets and who has an "oral" (har har) contract with hot blonde Missy Angel (Karen Witter). After Midnight threatens him ("I'll give you herpes on your pecker!") and refuses to sign over the copyright of her name and image, he cancels her show and soon after a series of murders begins. Missy and Mickey also start an affair and get the lead roles in one of Mr. B's productions. Midnight, Mickey, Mr. B and Missy are all pissy for various reasons, so when people start disappearing you've got your line-up of obvious suspects right there, so I guess I won't give anything away by saying that Midnight's at-home staff includes a seemingly mute, bizarre, overly loyal chauffeur named Ziggy (Gustav Vintas).

There's a drowning, a hanging, a nightmare sequence, a scene of Midnight fake poisoning herself on her TV show and plenty of terrible dialogue and one-liners. 1982 Playboy model Witter, who I've always thought was one of the best of the many playmate-turned-actresses but was never really given much of a chance in Hollywood, is the only thing worth watching in this offensively awful wanna-be cult film. Stick with ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK.
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