When you see a blonde woman threaten an old coot dressed up as Merlin, with Mace, you know you're in for a treat of a movie. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is one of the most muddled up, confused, poorly stitched together films you could ever have the misfortune to come across. It opens with a young boy watching TV. His grandfather then begins to tell him some stories about Merlin, the Great Magician, who has opened up a spell shop in the modern times. Selling potions, spell books, snakes, spiders, cauldrons and other wacky products, it's no surprise that an enraged reviewer decides to threaten Merlin by promising to give an awful review in the local paper about the shop. He then takes one of Merlin's spell books home and begins to dabble in the dark arts, only managing to turn his cat into a vicious beast. The cat then begins to violently attack it's owner, which results in the man setting the cat alight, and letting it die in a burst of flames. So far so good for a children's movie? No. So far so good for a horror film? No. Okay then... well, so far so good? No! The pain then continues when the man continues to practise spells, but only ends up turning himself a hundred years older, then turning himself back in time, to a young baby. And there, we have the end of the first strange story. Nothing very entertaining to get out of it. It's to harsh and bloody for young viewers, yet to unrealistic, unappealing and tame for any older viewer. The acting so far stinks like rotting fish, and the plot is a muddled as you can get. Then onto the second story, about a birthday present bought for a kid; a procession monkey doll, which claps cymbals and chatters it's teeth. However whenever it does this, something bad happens (starting with a goldfish, then the cat, then the near miss with the human) This episode is a fun premise, but is done slowly and painfully, with no real suspense or excitement to hold you down and reel you in. It's just to boring and slow and plain for anyone over ten years watching, and to creepy and a slight bit unsettling for very young, young children. So what audience category does this fit into? Who will enjoy it? Who is it aimed at? The answer is; no-one. And no-one should feel the need to torture themselves by trying to sit through this bland, sordid mess.
Review of Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
