1/10
More boring Satanists
2 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Having expected at least a decent horror film, I knew at the opening credits that the film itself would be way below average, probably somewhere near the throw away horror bin at a soft porn shop, or near the incinerator units in hell, as from watching 4 minutes of nausea-inducing, amateurish opening dream sequences, complete with atrocious overacting, a nude pregnant woman rubbing chicken feces on her belly, overuse of zooming, and a woman vomiting fake blood. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the time I was pouring down the sink.

After about 45 minutes of pure filler, including boring dialogue found in most homes or grocery stores, a long, dull chase sequence commences.

The whole film is a sluggish chase sequence between some 1970's skinny weirdo wearing fake blue contacts, and the screaming neurotic bimbo played by the cardboard actress Edwige Fenech, who is nude half the time, and even that becomes tedious.

She also screams about 68% of the time (use MUTE) in the film instead of picking up a gun or doing anything remotely intelligent, such as tossing a hand grenade into the Satanist house.

Also found are a psycho babbling old geezer whose recitation of Dr. Freud is incompetent and shallow; at least he winds up dead later.

No script, no luminosity, and certainly no aptitude are ever found in this film, and it even has George Hilton, who stared in other rotten horror films, who plays another wooden idiot, as all his films seem like they are all the same, cheap and particularly dull.

The Satanists finally enter, in a stupid orgy scene which has them dancing around the nude Edwige Fenech to some boring 1970's music while showing their ugly teeth and robes (filmed in England).

They are puffed out with white makeup, and they get too many "zoom ins" that look amateurish; the whole effect is about as scary as having your car washed or being beaten on the head with French bread.

This is a very lethargic, cheaply made, badly acted film that is not even a Giallo type, and it goes nowhere since frame one.

The only people who should bother with it are those in comas in hospital beds, or those who have lost their TV remotes.

The extras on the DVD are even worse, they have the egomaniacal self-indulgent, Director Sergio Martino single handily taking credit for 'dream type of films' and elevating his other bad films, which were also rip-offs of superb films. Also to note are the idiotic radio ads used for blind people.
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