The 5 rating is a compromise. As a certain sort of film, it's a 10. It's well-made, fun, flashy, all that other crap.
But let's look further into this, to find the way in which the film is also a 1.
What is the movie's sell? What does it offer, why does it exist? Well, it features singing. By singers? No, by actors. Are the songs good? Some of the standards are all right, but some songs are immediately forgettable. What else does the picture offer? Dancing. By dancers? No, by actors. Is the dancing good? Some seems all right. Nothing earth-shaking, nothing too difficult or memorable. What ELSE does the picture offer? Style, wit, and sex appeal. And how does it fare on those fronts? Pretty poorly, to be honest. It's never quite as stylish as it thinks it is, never so witty or charming or ingratiating as it thinks it is, and as for being sexy- once past the opening number by Zeta-Jones, there's scarcely a sexy scene in the picture.
What we have here then is a film filled with actors in which precious little acting is required, a story with no characters, a musical told too much with music, and a lead actress so unattractive, physically and otherwise, that all a viewer wants is for Zeta-Jones to somehow hijack the film. When Lucy Liu, in a wonderful cameo, momentarily becomes the center of attention, I was thrilled- at last, no more watching Zellwegger try to seem sexy or interesting- but it was a false alarm, and the 'wegger was soon back in charge.
So you see there are some problems. It's such a vacuous film. It's such a vacuous TYPE of film- and I don't mean all musicals, necessarily, though they do tend to that. But there is no there there. Film can tell a story- this hardly qualifies as having done that. Film can inspire our awe with great visuals, great music, or a perfect mixture of the two- this does not do that, though I am sure some would argue it intended to. Film can elicit our empathy- but not this one, where there is no emotion whatever, nor was meant to be. Or- last and perhaps, but not necessarily, least, film can serve merely as another sort of art, filmed- musical performance, dance, and so on. But as I said, these aren't dancers, but actors- not singers, but actors- and so however good the songs and choreography might have been (and they are hit-or-miss), they could never have been good enough to merit their being filmed, due to their being done by people not especially gifted in those arts.
So. What we have is an empty, pointless film, not even as FUN as it should have been (for in the end this film has no claim to any purpose but to have been fun for the viewer), yet extraordinarily well-made along certain lines, and for certain undemanding, unreflective viewers.
I did enjoy some of the acts and actors and elements, anyway. Reilly and Gere were very good. Zeta-Jones for all her beauty was mis-used and under-used, though that opening number is dazzling. Reilly's Mr Cellophane bit and Gere's press conference and courtroom numbers were wonderful. Still many of the numbers fell flat, worst of all the one with all the women prisoners singing about their crimes- just bad, badly done, and boring. As I go on I'm wondering where those five stars are coming from- there's just a certain quality to the production, I guess- and what I admire about it I admire truly- but on principle I would've been bound to disapprove of so empty a film, even if it had been ten times better, which this wasn't.
But let's look further into this, to find the way in which the film is also a 1.
What is the movie's sell? What does it offer, why does it exist? Well, it features singing. By singers? No, by actors. Are the songs good? Some of the standards are all right, but some songs are immediately forgettable. What else does the picture offer? Dancing. By dancers? No, by actors. Is the dancing good? Some seems all right. Nothing earth-shaking, nothing too difficult or memorable. What ELSE does the picture offer? Style, wit, and sex appeal. And how does it fare on those fronts? Pretty poorly, to be honest. It's never quite as stylish as it thinks it is, never so witty or charming or ingratiating as it thinks it is, and as for being sexy- once past the opening number by Zeta-Jones, there's scarcely a sexy scene in the picture.
What we have here then is a film filled with actors in which precious little acting is required, a story with no characters, a musical told too much with music, and a lead actress so unattractive, physically and otherwise, that all a viewer wants is for Zeta-Jones to somehow hijack the film. When Lucy Liu, in a wonderful cameo, momentarily becomes the center of attention, I was thrilled- at last, no more watching Zellwegger try to seem sexy or interesting- but it was a false alarm, and the 'wegger was soon back in charge.
So you see there are some problems. It's such a vacuous film. It's such a vacuous TYPE of film- and I don't mean all musicals, necessarily, though they do tend to that. But there is no there there. Film can tell a story- this hardly qualifies as having done that. Film can inspire our awe with great visuals, great music, or a perfect mixture of the two- this does not do that, though I am sure some would argue it intended to. Film can elicit our empathy- but not this one, where there is no emotion whatever, nor was meant to be. Or- last and perhaps, but not necessarily, least, film can serve merely as another sort of art, filmed- musical performance, dance, and so on. But as I said, these aren't dancers, but actors- not singers, but actors- and so however good the songs and choreography might have been (and they are hit-or-miss), they could never have been good enough to merit their being filmed, due to their being done by people not especially gifted in those arts.
So. What we have is an empty, pointless film, not even as FUN as it should have been (for in the end this film has no claim to any purpose but to have been fun for the viewer), yet extraordinarily well-made along certain lines, and for certain undemanding, unreflective viewers.
I did enjoy some of the acts and actors and elements, anyway. Reilly and Gere were very good. Zeta-Jones for all her beauty was mis-used and under-used, though that opening number is dazzling. Reilly's Mr Cellophane bit and Gere's press conference and courtroom numbers were wonderful. Still many of the numbers fell flat, worst of all the one with all the women prisoners singing about their crimes- just bad, badly done, and boring. As I go on I'm wondering where those five stars are coming from- there's just a certain quality to the production, I guess- and what I admire about it I admire truly- but on principle I would've been bound to disapprove of so empty a film, even if it had been ten times better, which this wasn't.