Frogs (1972)
1/10
Avoid that Woman - She's Got Crabs
19 June 2008
Frogs is an exercise in inept film-making - from top to bottom. Then again, the cinematographer did a good job, but everyone else involved in the production of this terrible film should be flogged - by frogs.

Let it be known, I have a fondness for 70's drive-in cheese. Some of my favorite movies came from the Frogs period, such as Don't Look in the Basement and Funeral Home, but this film has nothing going for it. Every death scene - and I mean EVERY death scene, will elicit a laugh from your lips. The most inane death scene was when Lynn Borden gets killed by a turtle and a school of crabs. However, she is supposedly stuck in the mud, when she spots the enormous turtle, you can clearly see Lynn LIFT HER LEFT LEG out of her supposed implanted doom. Wow! This film is terrible, and not of that fun drive-in cheesy variety either.

VIOLENCE: $$ (All laughable. The characters all die at the hands - or various appendages, I should say - of the various critters hellbent on killing them for contaminating their environment. The nephew carries a rifle through the woods and proceeds to shoot himself in the leg before a pack of tarantulas descend upon him in an all-too laughable death scene Also, Sam Elliott gets to beat snakes with an oar and blast an alligator with a shotgun).

NUDITY: None

STORY: $ (The beginning is very promising. Sam Elliott, portraying a freelance photographer, takes pictures of animals at Ray Milland's island while also stopping to take photos of all the debris in the water. It has a heavy-handed environmental message at the beginning but never fleshes that out. Instead, we have a cantankerous old battle-axe who controls his family on Fourth of July -hellbent on enjoying the festivities despite his brood dying off one-by-one).

ACTING: $$ (Ray Milland plays the grandpa with over-the-top egotism. In short time you will want to punch the old buzzard in the snout. Sam Elliott gives the best acting job as Pickett Smith while Joan Van Ark compliments him well as Grandpa's proper grandchild Karen. Lynn Borden does a good job as a neglected housewife although that scene where she gets killed by the turtle - while having a conglomerate of crabs crawling up her legs - was the ultimate in low-budget cheese).
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