Ghosthouse (1988)
3/10
Dreadful haunted house rubbish from Umberto Lenzi.
22 June 2008
Hiding behind the ridiculous soubriquet Humphrey Humbert, Umberto Lenzi (of Cannibal Ferox fame) directed this lame late 80s Italian/US co-production that starts off bad, and then rapidly goes downhill.

The film is a mish-mash of dumb, illogical, spooky (and sometimes deadly) happenings which occur to a group of teens staying at a deserted house. The cause of these supernatural events: the tormented spirit of a girl who is cursed to haunt the building because her father, a funeral director, gave her a clown-doll which he stole from the coffin of a dead child (what a great father: bringing home his daughter an ugly-as-sin present lifted from a corpse!).

Also mixed-up in the strange occurrences are a young couple who have followed a mysterious signal that they picked up on their ham radio set; they arrive at the house just as the weird and grisly deaths begin.

Lenzi's film is totally devoid of suspense, has plenty of elements which make no sense whatsoever (including a disappearing Doberman and a killer caretaker with a limp), features lousy acting, some dreadful special FX and some even worse examples of 80s fashion, and completely rips off the Tobe Hooper/Spielberg hit Poltergeist for several scenes (however, with a much smaller budget and a less talented crew, the results are laughable).

Lenzi's next film, Le Porte dell'inferno, was further proof--as if we really needed it--that the director's best days behind the camera had long since gone.
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