Wow! This is an amazingly bad film! For some foolish reason, I watched this expecting a horror movie, but beyond the fact that it has some vampires and a light smattering of gore John Carpenter's Vampires isn't a horror movie by a long chalk.
There's no tension, no buildup, no mystery, no disturbing death, no atmosphere, no uncertainty or sense of foreboding.
In spite of which, I liked it. It was reasonably fast-paced, with an entertaining premise, a bunch of (amazingly bad!) action scenes, an amusing cast and script notable for its consistent unintentional humour... all served with extra cheese.
At least, I think the humour is unintentional, but every time something mildly dramatic or exciting happens James Woods delivers a devastatingly funny line (like when he says to the gay supergoth vampire bloke "So tell me, does your dick still work after 600 years?")...
All the dialogue is like that - super-macho, utterly unconvincing and full of oddly unnecessary expletives. Personally, I swear a lot, possibly more than these guys, but the script is so awkward it sometimes sounds like they're cussing to hit quotas: one penis reference, two f-words and an overwritten sexual insult per scene! The rock score (composed, of course, by Carpenter himself) is a major cheese-enhancing factor. Electric guitar solos meander almost non-stop throughout the film's hundred-plus minutes (of the type often referred to as "bluesy" by those who don't know better), fitting perfectly with the biker-bar look of many of the characters and the dusty desert setting, but... well, not in a good way.
The lead performances were all brilliantly funny without being in the least bit good. James Woods proves once again that he has charisma even when he's asleep. Daniel Baldwin (who, not being a big fan of American movies, I've not really seen before) seemed like he was distractedly thinking about his mortgage payments. Sheryl Lee provided the least laughs at first, playing her badly-written hooker character with an almost professional attention to cliché, but in the end she got to yodel and chew scenery What else needs a mention? Well, there's a romantic subplot (by the numbers, skipping several numbers along the way), the sound fx (I love the way the vampires make a mad array of badly-dubbed animal noises every time their mouth move, as if they're carrying speakers in their pockets!), and the excuse for a plot (I will avoid the novel like the plague, but in my kindness I assume Carpenter skipped the chapters that made us give a damn)... but no, I won't go on.
Because, for all the dissing (and the fact I rated it 4/10), this is a fun movie.
Like Plan 9 from Outer Space with cool colour cinematography.
The look of the film is the only thing that's unabashedly, no-excuses-needed good about it... but then, it's hard to make a desert look less than beautiful.
My advice is to definitely watch this, but first stock up on some quality skunk... and rent, don't buy!
There's no tension, no buildup, no mystery, no disturbing death, no atmosphere, no uncertainty or sense of foreboding.
In spite of which, I liked it. It was reasonably fast-paced, with an entertaining premise, a bunch of (amazingly bad!) action scenes, an amusing cast and script notable for its consistent unintentional humour... all served with extra cheese.
At least, I think the humour is unintentional, but every time something mildly dramatic or exciting happens James Woods delivers a devastatingly funny line (like when he says to the gay supergoth vampire bloke "So tell me, does your dick still work after 600 years?")...
All the dialogue is like that - super-macho, utterly unconvincing and full of oddly unnecessary expletives. Personally, I swear a lot, possibly more than these guys, but the script is so awkward it sometimes sounds like they're cussing to hit quotas: one penis reference, two f-words and an overwritten sexual insult per scene! The rock score (composed, of course, by Carpenter himself) is a major cheese-enhancing factor. Electric guitar solos meander almost non-stop throughout the film's hundred-plus minutes (of the type often referred to as "bluesy" by those who don't know better), fitting perfectly with the biker-bar look of many of the characters and the dusty desert setting, but... well, not in a good way.
The lead performances were all brilliantly funny without being in the least bit good. James Woods proves once again that he has charisma even when he's asleep. Daniel Baldwin (who, not being a big fan of American movies, I've not really seen before) seemed like he was distractedly thinking about his mortgage payments. Sheryl Lee provided the least laughs at first, playing her badly-written hooker character with an almost professional attention to cliché, but in the end she got to yodel and chew scenery What else needs a mention? Well, there's a romantic subplot (by the numbers, skipping several numbers along the way), the sound fx (I love the way the vampires make a mad array of badly-dubbed animal noises every time their mouth move, as if they're carrying speakers in their pockets!), and the excuse for a plot (I will avoid the novel like the plague, but in my kindness I assume Carpenter skipped the chapters that made us give a damn)... but no, I won't go on.
Because, for all the dissing (and the fact I rated it 4/10), this is a fun movie.
Like Plan 9 from Outer Space with cool colour cinematography.
The look of the film is the only thing that's unabashedly, no-excuses-needed good about it... but then, it's hard to make a desert look less than beautiful.
My advice is to definitely watch this, but first stock up on some quality skunk... and rent, don't buy!