Stagecoach (1939)
1/10
Idiotic and Tiresome Cartoon
23 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Stagecoach (1939) I have long heard about how great this film was so I finally purchased it and watched it. Starting out, I was startled at how stupid, meaningless and moronic it was. It was like watching a depression era Cartoon. Presented are a bunch of idiotic, tiresome, "civilized" people chatting about nothing in particular. Once they get on the Stagecoach it's no better, their self-righteous attitude, which comes across in the director's and script writers' intents, are much to stomach. You have a prejudiced, aristocratic dandy (John Carradine), a dumb as nails loner (John Wayne), a gullible, understanding prostitute, a vile corrupt banker, a smug small-minded "preacher", an inane drunk doctor, an annoying sanctimonious "lady" (who is pregnant) and a few other dimwits, all riding on the Stagecoach, ever fearful of the "evil Indian" attack. They talk about the most frivolous rubbish ever imagined. All of the characters are entirely irksome. Scenes proceed from A to B without any story, good dialogue or interest.

The Apache are played by Navajo Indians (or a Mexican woman in ranch scene) in close ups and by blatant white stunt men in the horse shots. Of course, as expected, since this is filmed by a virulent, white bigoted Director, financed by a greedy studio and written by calloused short-sighted, studio stable script writers, it is no surprise that the Apache are played off as a hostile threat to the grand white civilized lifestyle (if you have a brain, you will observe that the 'grand white civilized lifestyle' is nothing but a bunch of loathing drunks who shoot each other). You will notice that the Apache are so inept that they can't even stop a Stagecoach, and are shot by the rabble riding in said Stagecoach, who never run out of bullets and put down about 55 of the attacking Apache in one of the most shallow, impalpable scenes ever imagined. If you are wondering how the Apache stopped Stagecoaches, all they had to do was shoot one horse. The Apache, by that time, having been reduced to being a poor starving band of corralled slaves, imprisoned, murdered by the US government and it's hostile citizens, were fighting for survival at that point. Instead, they are called "savages" and made to resemble sub-human scum. Having lived with the Apache myself, I realize that they have a rich culture, are deeply spiritual and had a love for their land.

If you can get past all the inept portrayals and ostensible characters, which if you are intelligent, is impossible to forgive, then at least you can enjoy a narrative but Stagecoach lacks that as well. John Ford doesn't even give us a palpable story. All that is left is cheap 1930's gimmicky cutouts, as John Wayne instantly falls in love with ostracized prostitute, kills all bad guys, then everything is fine.

After Stagecoach (1939) was over I was left questioning all the misleading "great" reviews. I burned my copy as it has no value whatsoever, not even as average entertainment.

Stagecoach goes nowhere.
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