Review of Expired

Expired (2007)
1/10
Simply Awful
8 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
This is one of the worst, most depressing movies I have ever seen. It probably holds the Guinness record for inspiring more suicides than any other film ever made. The plot is unrelentingly abusive and painful to watch. The heroine is so self-loathing that she misconstrues perpetual verbal abuse and violent rape as romantic courtship. Her assailant is one of the most loathsome, totally unredeemable characters ever to despoil celluloid. (The coining of the term Schadenfreude easily could have been based on his foul, repellent persona.) I appreciate understated, nuanced performances, but the portrayals in this film never rose above the level of Stephen Hawking reciting the multiplications table. The cinematography is shakier than an 8mm home movie shot by Joe Cocker. The camera jerks from one target to another like the nervous tic of a schizophrenic. If you could give this movie credit for anything, it would be for consistency. It is awful from the first scene, through its entire exposition, and down to its unsatisfying denouement.
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