Woodyanders Review of The Adventures of Hercules

The Adventures of Hercules (1985)

A hilariously horrendous sequel to the wonderfully wretched original

[8/10 · 12 February 2010]

Strong and courageous Hercule (a stiff, yet sincere performance by Lou Ferrigno and two insanely hot babes -- tender psychic Urania (the delicious Milly Carlucci) and feisty Glaucia (the equally delectable Sonia Viviani) -- must retrieve Zeus' seven stolen thunderbolts and thwart an attempted coup by four rebellious gods. Meanwhile, the evil and vengeful King Minos (a gloriously hammy William Berger) gets resurrected so he can settle a score with Hercules. Writer/director Luigi Cozzi once again strikes out something rotten with often sidesplitting kitschy results: the supremely asinine script (among the perils Hercules faces are a hostile upright humanoid shag rug, yucky slime people, and a tribe of ferocious Amazon women, plus we get an unnecessary recap of the creation of the universe!), liberal use of stock footage from the first flick, subpar (far from) special effects, the ludicrously serious tone, an absurdly solemn narrator, dippy 80's video game style sound effects, terrible dubbing, crummy acting (Claudio Cassinelli as a decidedly unimpressive Zeus cops the top thespic booby prize; he resembles a bargain basement Santa Claus with his laughably fake white beard and wig!), ham-fisted use of strenuous slow motion, cheesy excessive rotoscoping, and a simply astounding climactic confrontation between Hercules and King Minos in outer space (Herc turns into a giant gorilla while Minos transforms into a savage dinosaur!) all add immensely to the considerable unintentional hilarity. Pino Donaggio supplies an exceptionally lively and stirring full-on orchestral score. Alberto Spagnoli's slick cinematography gives the movie a blindingly garish Day-Glo shine. A complete campy hoot.