Review of The Abyss

The Abyss (1989)
4/10
Massively over-rated nonsense
3 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I watched this movie based primarily on my love for other Cameron movies and the mostly highly positive reviews here. What a mistake! This movie is deeply, deeply flawed, both as science fiction and as a matter of film-making. It suffers from many of the worst clichés of 1980s American films, and displays none of the sense of atmosphere, imagination and style which are present in Cameron's best work. I find it almost unbelievable that he followed the amazing Aliens with this movie.

So what are the problems? First, the plot. It is clichéd, silly, and resolves with a laughable deus ex machina. Like many a poor action/sci-fi movie, it relies almost entirely on coincidence and contrivance to develop the story, rather than being driven by strong characters with believable motivations. For example, we are presented with a series of pathetically derivative stories - the estranged husband and wife who we know are going to get back together from the first second; the psycho, chain of command-loving military guy; the rag-tag bunch of lovable tech specialists who find their beloved undersea rig taken out of their hands; and on and on. Characters live or die based on unlikely coincidences, the worst of which is undoubtedly Ed Harris' character being saved by his wedding ring, which he never takes off - symbolism doesn't get much more obvious or ridiculous. The main action sequence, an underwater sub-fight, drags on and on for no real reason. Nothing here is remotely new or interesting. Not content with that though, we also have "man's folly with nuclear weapons" and "is man inherently good or evil?" thrown in for good measure. Ultimately we get a preachy, silly ending which gives virtually no resolution to those questions - the characters learn nothing, except that if we're naughty the aliens are going to drown us all.

Second, the characters. They are just totally implausible. In Aliens Cameron gave us a more believable bunch of characters, despite the fact that they were billions of miles away and hundreds of years into the future. Here they are just clichéd, boring, unappealing and predictable. The 'lovable' undersea cowboys talk in ridiculous slang and catchphrases. The military guys (perhaps presaging Avatar) are robotic and wholly defined by crew cuts and personal aggression. Of course, there is the 'crazy' guy who no-one takes seriously but who turns out to be right, the cold-but-sexy woman who knows how to take control, even a sassy black chick. It's all so predictable, and there are no surprises at all.

Thirdly, as a matter of "science" fiction, this movie is an epic failure. We learn little to nothing about the science allegedly involved. The undersea creatures display no characteristics which reflect their environment (why would they have technology to control water through the air when they live entirely UNDER water?). The physics on display is awful (a huge station presumably weighing hundreds of tonnes is rapidly dragged by the weight of a small crane, for example). Even the science of deep sea diving is largely ignored - things crack and crumple when it is convenient from a plot perspective, but other times the characters and equipment seem to be immune to the effects of being deep underwater. Where, incidentally, there is no life, and the water is a pleasant, clear aquamarine colour.

Fourthly, and most importantly, this movie is simply boring. When you have a silly plot and characters who are far from engaging, the last thing you should do is have a film which drags on and on and on, but that is precisely what this one does.

A word about the special effects - they are OK by 1989 standards, but pretty awful by contemporary standards. The undersea creatures look like a bad children's cartoon, and the much celebrated water effects definitely show their age. Much more impressive are the underwater and flooding scenes, but even these are fairly average by current standards.

This movie seems to hint at what was eventually going to be done much better in Avatar (right down to the fluro blue aliens). Although Avatar repeats some of the mistakes listed above, it is a far more coherent and, more importantly, engaging film. This film has plenty of defenders, but the truth is that even amongst Cameron's own body work there are many films which are far, far better than this. I refuse to believe anyone can watch Aliens and then watch The Abyss and come away thinking that this film is even half as good.
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