Not even worth watching for free...that is about the best way to put it after watching this mess on TV for free. I know Simon Rex is NOT an actor...so why was he cast as a lead in anything? We are suppose to believe he is a detective? But the plot gets even BETTER!! He becomes the owner of a dog who was a witness to a murder...and that dog can TALK!!! OMG...it gets even crazier! The dog lets tt he cop in on the fact that ALL animals can talk..in their own language, of course..but us humans just can't hear it. The detective decides to help this dog solve his masters' murder..and goes bumbling around doing various stupid things in an attempt add some humor to the mix. He meets a patrol cop who has plans to be detective some day too..and of course she jumps right in to help him out. Jamie Priestly is the eye candy for this film...and that is about all she is good for here I am not sure if she is really a talented actress at all. Seeing an accomplished actor like Jon Voight lower his standards to do this was almost a sad thing. He was suppose to be some amazing karate master? His moves were stiff and anything but realistic. Even his attempts at being tough was lame. Taking a concept that has been done before...a talking dog in a movie..was fine..but doing it on what must have been a low budget was not a good plan. Even the actors playing the children of Jon Voights' character were bad choices..they looked too old to be believable. Someone who was as skilled in martial arts as he was would have also taught his children the skills too at some point...in reality anyway. Not much was realistic or believable here...and I think even kids would become bored after a while. Seeing dogs dancing, playing music and spinning records was just way too much. I felt sorry for the real dogs in this and I hope they were paid well in top quality kibble...but I doubt the director had that kind of money to spare...obviously he had to know it would not make him any cash as a completed film either. Low budget stuff can be fun....but this one was more of a mess than anything.
Review of The Karate Dog
