Royal Kill (2009)
5/10
This Movie is a Rorschach Test...
26 September 2010
This movie is a Rorshach test. Every viewer will have a different opinion, although no one's opinion will be "best film ever." It's one of those movies you can watch and then talk about for an hour.

The movie has one big problem: terrible, terrible, direction. We almost turned it off after 15 minutes. I'm no director but, c'mon man, stop filming people walking and walking and walking. I don't know of any rule that you have to make movies a certain length. If there is one, don't make the movie longer by filming people walking. The whispering is also annoying. C'mon folks. Use your big people voices.

From the reviews I read I was pretty sure there were no Ninjas in this movie. That wasn't a surprise. I wanted to watch this because I read it was Mr. Miyagi's last movie. I thought maybe Daniel-san would come in and win the tournament at the end.

After about an hour of this being the worst movie ever, the plot twist made it kind of interesting. It explained a lot of the crappiness at the beginning of the movie. It explained some of Mr. Miyagi's earlier incoherent babbling which really seemed like bad editing at the time. It explained some of the campy fx at the beginning. Unfortunately, it couldn't explain or fix the bad directing.

It's too bad that this director ruined what could have been a really good film.

If you're going to watch it, here's some advice. Make fun of it for an hour (ala MST3K) to pass the time. Then, if the plot twist gets you interested you'll enjoy the rest of the film. If not then just keep making fun of it. Sometimes the bad movies are fun to watch just for the sake of making fun of them.
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