Review of Pandorum

Pandorum (2009)
2/10
Are you kidding?
13 February 2011
There's a good reason this movie performed so poorly at the box office and that the studio itself clearly had no interest in promoting/marketing this film. Normally, I wouldn't give much credence to BO--plenty of great movies never see the light of day--but this time, popularity and quality go hand in hand.

Yikes.

What seemed like a great premise goes nowhere fast and turns into a mishmash of about six other films and far too many genres. You've literally got ninja warriors with alien demons along with tried and true sci-fi tropes that we've seen far too many times before. The end result isn't a psychological thriller or a complicated and taut sci-fi fantasy film, but just solid crap unworthy of even a made-for-TV-movie.

To discover that the director decided to "meld" a script he already had with the one he read by the screenwriter of this pile is not a surprise. The only surprise is that there weren't thirteen or so other scripts that were cut and pasted together to make this one a gruesome and sad reality.

The only reason I continued watching the film to the end was because I thought that maybe- -just maybe--there would be some fantastic twist or last minute revelation, and though there was a feeble attempt at such a plot turn, in the end, there's really nothing worth sitting through in Pandorum.

Don't waste your time the way I have. If you have any sense of taste or any semblance of understanding of film/sci-fi, you'll quickly be able to detect within the first five minutes of this mess that you won't need my advice. Just trust that what's bad never gets better.

Trash.
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