Hello, I am Bloop the robot, and today I will be reviewing Adam Sandler's latest raping of comedy called "Jack & Jill." Made by Happy Madison productions, which would be much more accurate if called . . .Un-happy Madison productions.
So the movie starts off with lots of video clips of twins. Twins making fun of one another. Then we are introduced to Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler playing a woman who looks nothing like Adam Sandler, but looks more like Adam Sandler in drag.
The Adam Sandler in drag was referred to as Jill in the movie, and the Adam Sandler playing a man was named Jack. Just like the children's books. Isn't that funny? But Jack and Jill never go up the hill to fetch a pale of water. Therefore it is an inaccurate portrayal of Jack and Jill.
Instead, the movie goes downhill from this point. Much like the careers of everyone involved in this movie. Including Al Pacino, but I will get to that later. That was a teaser.
So Jill comes to visit Jack for Thanksgiving. But Jack is very angry because he doesn't like Jill, and neither does the audience.
Even though Jill is only supposed to visit for 4 days, she overstays her welcome much like the movie overstays its welcome after the first minute. It is terrible.
Then, one day Jack goes into the office and he is told he has to make a commercial for Dunkin Donuts. And he has to cast Al Pacino. And the commercial is specifically about Dunk-a-cinos, which rhymes with Al Pacino's last name. Very funny.
Because Jill admits to not knowing how to use technology, like robots, Jack creates a human dating Website profile for his horribly disgusting and strangely manly sister. Logically, because she is undesirable in every way, she is not contacted by a single man. But then Jack comes and feels bad and creates a profile on Craigslist in which he is misleading because he calls Jill a hot, crazy, masseuse with knock out looks because she knocked herself out with the wheel on the Price Is Right, but not the old Price is Right hosted by Bob Barker who was in Happy Gilmore, but the Price is Right hosted by Drew Carey, but not the fat and funny Drew Carey because this is the insanely skinny and sickly Drew Carey.
So then a lot of guys contact Jill because they think she is hot and based off of this fake description, even though it is linked back to her dating profile featuring a real picture of her eating some kind of sandwich. And through a careful human female selection process, she chooses to go on a date with a guy named Funbucket, who is neither Fun, nor a bucket.
Then Jill comes home crying from her date with Funbucket, and Jack is guilt tripped into feeling bad for her, and realizes that she has feelings. Stupid worthless human feelings. At this point, Jack's boss tells him to go to a Laker's Game because Al Pacino will be there. How did he know that? It is a comedy so that is irrelevant.
At the Laker's human basketball game, Al Pacino sits next to Johnny Depp who apparently was bored that day and Adam Sandler said, "Hey Johnny Depp, are you doing anything? And if not, please be in my stupid movie." Then Jack talked to Al Pacino, but Al Pacino likes Jill instead, even though we've already established that Adam Sandler is playing both of the main characters. Very funny.
This is where the complex romance comes into the picture, where Al Pacino stalks Jill, but Jill does not like Al Pacino eve though he is rich . . . and Al Pacino. She is stupid. Just like this movie.
Sadly, I am only 30 minutes into this movie, so I will summarize the movie in short sentences: Overt racism of Jews, Mexicans, Black People, and 10 year old Indian children.
Jokes about poop, farts, diarrhea, and eating bad Mexican food.
Cameo appearances by Norm MacDonald, Dana Carvey, Shaquille O'Neil, and the Shamwow guy.
We definitely weren't ""Wowed," but this movie definitely was a sham. That is a pun.
In conclusion, "Jack and Jill" is not a comedy but rather a tragedy. It was not even funny and did not have enough robots. It was terrible.
*This review is taken from the YouTube Channel called RantingRobots*
So the movie starts off with lots of video clips of twins. Twins making fun of one another. Then we are introduced to Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler playing a woman who looks nothing like Adam Sandler, but looks more like Adam Sandler in drag.
The Adam Sandler in drag was referred to as Jill in the movie, and the Adam Sandler playing a man was named Jack. Just like the children's books. Isn't that funny? But Jack and Jill never go up the hill to fetch a pale of water. Therefore it is an inaccurate portrayal of Jack and Jill.
Instead, the movie goes downhill from this point. Much like the careers of everyone involved in this movie. Including Al Pacino, but I will get to that later. That was a teaser.
So Jill comes to visit Jack for Thanksgiving. But Jack is very angry because he doesn't like Jill, and neither does the audience.
Even though Jill is only supposed to visit for 4 days, she overstays her welcome much like the movie overstays its welcome after the first minute. It is terrible.
Then, one day Jack goes into the office and he is told he has to make a commercial for Dunkin Donuts. And he has to cast Al Pacino. And the commercial is specifically about Dunk-a-cinos, which rhymes with Al Pacino's last name. Very funny.
Because Jill admits to not knowing how to use technology, like robots, Jack creates a human dating Website profile for his horribly disgusting and strangely manly sister. Logically, because she is undesirable in every way, she is not contacted by a single man. But then Jack comes and feels bad and creates a profile on Craigslist in which he is misleading because he calls Jill a hot, crazy, masseuse with knock out looks because she knocked herself out with the wheel on the Price Is Right, but not the old Price is Right hosted by Bob Barker who was in Happy Gilmore, but the Price is Right hosted by Drew Carey, but not the fat and funny Drew Carey because this is the insanely skinny and sickly Drew Carey.
So then a lot of guys contact Jill because they think she is hot and based off of this fake description, even though it is linked back to her dating profile featuring a real picture of her eating some kind of sandwich. And through a careful human female selection process, she chooses to go on a date with a guy named Funbucket, who is neither Fun, nor a bucket.
Then Jill comes home crying from her date with Funbucket, and Jack is guilt tripped into feeling bad for her, and realizes that she has feelings. Stupid worthless human feelings. At this point, Jack's boss tells him to go to a Laker's Game because Al Pacino will be there. How did he know that? It is a comedy so that is irrelevant.
At the Laker's human basketball game, Al Pacino sits next to Johnny Depp who apparently was bored that day and Adam Sandler said, "Hey Johnny Depp, are you doing anything? And if not, please be in my stupid movie." Then Jack talked to Al Pacino, but Al Pacino likes Jill instead, even though we've already established that Adam Sandler is playing both of the main characters. Very funny.
This is where the complex romance comes into the picture, where Al Pacino stalks Jill, but Jill does not like Al Pacino eve though he is rich . . . and Al Pacino. She is stupid. Just like this movie.
Sadly, I am only 30 minutes into this movie, so I will summarize the movie in short sentences: Overt racism of Jews, Mexicans, Black People, and 10 year old Indian children.
Jokes about poop, farts, diarrhea, and eating bad Mexican food.
Cameo appearances by Norm MacDonald, Dana Carvey, Shaquille O'Neil, and the Shamwow guy.
We definitely weren't ""Wowed," but this movie definitely was a sham. That is a pun.
In conclusion, "Jack and Jill" is not a comedy but rather a tragedy. It was not even funny and did not have enough robots. It was terrible.
*This review is taken from the YouTube Channel called RantingRobots*