Silent House (2011)
1/10
Bad from start to finish
23 March 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I wish critics would stop reviewing this movie based on its supposed technical merits or their desire to see Elizabeth Olsen succeed and rate it as a cinematic experience. Wow, great, the movie might largely give the impression that it was done in one take. Elizabeth Olsen may have some talent. That doesn't mean -this movie- has any redeeming value whatsoever. The movie just flat-out stinks.

From obvious contradictions to tedious attempts to build suspense to irritating camera techniques, there is nothing good going on here. The main character makes a big production out of locking the front door with a key hanging on a hook to show us that it's not that easy to get out of the house once the door is locked, but then another character leaves the house five seconds later and the door opens and shuts in two seconds off-screen.

You spend most of the movie watching shaky close-up shots of people's shoulders or the girl's face, to the point that for almost the first half of the movie it feels like the girl is running away from her own shadow. She goes into 100% panic mode from the first creepy noise that she hears in the house, and once it becomes clear to the audience that there even really is someone else there there isn't anywhere for her to go emotionally. From there, the exercise becomes repetitive and boring.

She runs through this house that isn't really that big, looking for doors and windows to open, and when she finds none there's no sense of "I better find some place to hide and quick!". She just kind of gives up, and it doesn't matter because the movie doesn't give the sense that any intruders or supernatural presence or whatever in the house is even paying attention to her. Sure, it grabs her leg or shuts a door near her once in a while, but it isn't actually out to get her, or it would have pursued her when she ran to find the doors. This kills any sense of tension the movie might have had a chance of building.

You've probably heard that the ending is bad and ruins this movie. That's half true. The ending is bad, and the "twist" is predictable and stupid. It also renders one character who really did nothing at all in the movie completely pointless. But the ending didn't ruin this movie. In order for the ending to ruin the movie, the movie leading up to the ending would have needed to be worth something. For example, the ending is what ruined The Devil Inside. The Devil Inside wasn't a great movie, but what really destroyed it was the fact that it stopped 75% of the way through with basically a "come back and see The Devil Inside 2 to get the other 25% of this movie".

But this movie never worked, not even for a moment. It's a bunch of cheap scare gimmicks strung together without any real tension behind them. The wobbly camera is more irritating than it is skillful craftsmanship. And when the movie isn't showing extreme close-ups, the screen is just black so you can't see anything. It takes more than not showing anything to be legitimately scary or tension-building. There has to be a threat of something that you can't see, and this movie fails on this count by cranking up the main character's freak-out factor to 110% from the outset before there's even anybody in the house.

Yes, you can explain her ridiculous behavior once you get to the end, but the point is that the first part of the movie doesn't take you along for the ride, because it's impossible to really relate to this girl. You'd expect the air conditioner clicking on to send her into one of those fits of trying to control a scream, and the movie doesn't add to this in the parts I already mentioned where nobody ever actually follows her anywhere.

Bottom line: this movie is a worthless piece of junk. The ending didn't ruin it, because the movie had nothing of quality in it to start with.
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