War Flowers (2012)
1/10
A mistake
1 August 2013
Warning: Spoilers
We saw that this movie starred Christina Ricci and Tom Berenger and figured it had to be decent. Nope. Wrong. Not close. My wife gave it a "C" which was generous; I deemed it a mistake. I could not tell whether the editing was intentional to make it look like it was a t.v. movie, or just bad. The acting was wooden, the story line weak, and the special effects not special nor effective.

The story, at its simplest, is about a Civil War wife who is at home waiting for the return of her Confederate sergeant husband. While waiting, with occasional skirmishes going on around her house (which she inexplicably runs through the middle of while dragging her little girl behind her) she discovers a seriously wounded Yankee soldier in her basement. No surprise in that she nurses him back to health. And for no reason, other than perhaps loneliness (which we are forced to guess)she falls in love with the Yankee. There is no heartfelt discussion, no longing looks, no kindnesses from Yankee to his Florence Nightingale, nor even to her daughter.

The southern accents are not just contrived, but painful to the ear. There is an occasional, intentional blurring of the scene which almost made me believe that maybe there was supposed to be some type of magic going on (accompanied by the presence of little stars whirring about- literally). However, it was such an odd occurrence, and without any explanation that it just added to the bizarre nature of the movie.

The strongest acting comes from the gentleman that plays the one-legged lecherous drunk. Saddled with a ridiculous set of false teeth, he nevertheless seemed excited to be in the movie. Second to the one- legged man was the teddy bear, who played his role well. Christina Ricci, who is talented, simply looked trapped. (And by the way, if you are going to have the heroine make threatening gestures with a "cap and ball" rifle, you need to have the hammers pulled back). Ricci's daughter in the movie appeared to be channeling Ricci's "Adam's Family" performance, which was great in Adam's Family, but not so great in a Civil War romance. Of course, she may have just been as bored as I was with the whole thing.

It sounds like a tragic Civil War love story. The real tragedy is that I watched it to the end.
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