If you thought "Xanadou" and "Can't Stop the Music!" had gay sensibilities or camp moments then watch this pathetic rip-off of Gilbert and Sullivan's most revived operetta where the film is supposed to be oh-so-straight but ends up as oh-so-stupid and oh-so-offensive. Moments of the original score are tossed together with a new fangled pop score so bad that all those great memories of the early 80's and the fun bad trends that came out of them are all washed away. O.K., so the idea of pairing Christopher Atkins and Kristy McNichol seemed like a good idea at the time. He was the newest hearth-throb after "The Blue Lagoon" and she was oh-so-cute as Buddy on "Family", the tomboy everybody liked. What they forgot to give them was a script, here so obviously slap-dash that the results are as jaw-dropping as the audience members of "Springtime For Hitler" in "The Producers". (Please don't throw your playbills at me for saying so!).
It is obvious to me that this was tossed together so fast not only because of the success of "The Pirates of Penzance" on Broadway but in expectation of the movie version of that show yet to be released. Like previous similarities between similar plotted movies released within months of each other (Think "Black Sunday" and "Two Minute Warning"), it's almost like sabotage. While "The Pirates of Penzance" came and went very quickly when it was released early in 1983, this film had a release the previous summer and obviously soured anybody interested in seeing a mostly faithful movie version of a hundred year old British operetta.
McNichol is Mabel, a geeky teen-aged girl hanging around the beach who somehow is obsessed with pirate movies and after being left behind after mean girls prevent her from boarding tour guide Atkins' boat, she ends up dreaming she's the heroine of Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta. He, of course, is the dashing hero, raised by pirates, yet determined to make his own way and find true love with the opposite sex. But the pirate king (Ted Hamilton) isn't willing to let him go and threatens to stand in the way of his heterosexual happiness. A wasted Maggie Kirkpatrick takes the normally scene-stealing role of nurse Ruth and turns it into almost a bit part,lacking the zest of the many veteran comics who played the role on Broadway and Angela Lansbury who showed screen audiences her musical talents in one of the rare times she actually got to use her own singing voice in the movies.
The worst Major General ever, Bill Kerr comes on like gang-busters with absolutely no subtly or humor like George Rose was doing on stage and later in the authentic film version. Sprinkled throughout this are spoofs of pop-culture characters popular at the time, such as Inspector Clouseau and Indiana Jones, proving what one critic said about it being "the rip-off movie". While the original operetta at times can be outright silly and sometimes eye-rolling, this version made me roll my eyes so much I was afraid of being able to see out of the back of my head or through my ears.
Then, there's the truncated score, an assassination of sorts where only a handful of the original score is used (or misused) and the new songs (with the possible exception of the song in the opening film-within-a-film) are dumber than any of the slobs of the slobs-vs.-the-snobs comedies popular at the time. "Happy Ending" is a bit of a catchy tune, but it's a horribly weak way to wrap up the plot, and McNichols' being forced to pair couples up had me sneering not cheering. "Pumpin And Blowin'" gets my vote for one of the top five worst movie songs ever written, and perhaps in the top ten of all songs ever written. It makes the theme from the original "The Blob" seem like "As Time Goes By" in comparison.
It is obvious to me that this was tossed together so fast not only because of the success of "The Pirates of Penzance" on Broadway but in expectation of the movie version of that show yet to be released. Like previous similarities between similar plotted movies released within months of each other (Think "Black Sunday" and "Two Minute Warning"), it's almost like sabotage. While "The Pirates of Penzance" came and went very quickly when it was released early in 1983, this film had a release the previous summer and obviously soured anybody interested in seeing a mostly faithful movie version of a hundred year old British operetta.
McNichol is Mabel, a geeky teen-aged girl hanging around the beach who somehow is obsessed with pirate movies and after being left behind after mean girls prevent her from boarding tour guide Atkins' boat, she ends up dreaming she's the heroine of Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta. He, of course, is the dashing hero, raised by pirates, yet determined to make his own way and find true love with the opposite sex. But the pirate king (Ted Hamilton) isn't willing to let him go and threatens to stand in the way of his heterosexual happiness. A wasted Maggie Kirkpatrick takes the normally scene-stealing role of nurse Ruth and turns it into almost a bit part,lacking the zest of the many veteran comics who played the role on Broadway and Angela Lansbury who showed screen audiences her musical talents in one of the rare times she actually got to use her own singing voice in the movies.
The worst Major General ever, Bill Kerr comes on like gang-busters with absolutely no subtly or humor like George Rose was doing on stage and later in the authentic film version. Sprinkled throughout this are spoofs of pop-culture characters popular at the time, such as Inspector Clouseau and Indiana Jones, proving what one critic said about it being "the rip-off movie". While the original operetta at times can be outright silly and sometimes eye-rolling, this version made me roll my eyes so much I was afraid of being able to see out of the back of my head or through my ears.
Then, there's the truncated score, an assassination of sorts where only a handful of the original score is used (or misused) and the new songs (with the possible exception of the song in the opening film-within-a-film) are dumber than any of the slobs of the slobs-vs.-the-snobs comedies popular at the time. "Happy Ending" is a bit of a catchy tune, but it's a horribly weak way to wrap up the plot, and McNichols' being forced to pair couples up had me sneering not cheering. "Pumpin And Blowin'" gets my vote for one of the top five worst movie songs ever written, and perhaps in the top ten of all songs ever written. It makes the theme from the original "The Blob" seem like "As Time Goes By" in comparison.