Unforgivable (1996 TV Movie)
6/10
Excellent portrayal of a real life batterer
4 March 2014
A good film about an ugly subject: male-on-female domestic violence.

Here's some valuable back-story (not a spoiler): I've known Paul Hegstrom and his wife personally. According to them the film is an accurate portrayal of what an incredibly messed up man Paul Hegstrom was. Paul no longer *physically* beats his wife. However there are plenty of ways the physically abusive can continue the cycle of abuse without raising a hand. Anger issues and deep seated insecurities can be manifested in many ways than physically.

Another reviewer said, "I believe it was very courageous for the real life Paul Hegstrom to put himself out there and tell the world what he'd done. We all make mistakes, not many of us can admit it." Big assumption there. Paul Hegstrom has made a lot of money by promoting through his books and "counseling ministry" the stereotype that men are abusive and women are victims and that the inverse is rarely ever true; and where it is true the man must have done something to deserve it.

Take what good you can from this film, but don't presume that the central figure on which the film is based is a role model of genuine redemption. Unfortunately there are many physically abusive men (and although Hegstrom would deny it, women too) who overcome their physical abusiveness only to continue being equally abusive emotionally and psychologically. ALL forms of abuse are wrong and, unfortunately, this film may only perpetuate the stereotype that physical abuse is more evil than other abuses, and that only men are responsible for abuse.
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