Contracted (2013)
2/10
Suspending disbelief has never been more difficult
28 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I watched 'Contracted' with very little introduction or knowledge of its premise. It simply peaked my interest on Netflix's streaming library of new movies, so I decided to give it a go. During the expositional scenes, the production quality and acting seemed to reach solid standards, leading me to believe this could be a relatively well-made film. After watching this 90-minute TV movie all the way through, I can safely say the dialogue and character development in this film is some of the most unrealistic writing I've ever had the misfortune of hearing/seeing.

Let me start by stating that throughout the entirety of the film, you will HATE every single character you come across. Each one is to some degree an embodiment of narcissism, spite, naivety, and idiocy. The main character, who "contracts" a progressively worsening virus from a stranger, is a young woman I wanted to see die within the storyline almost immediately. When the leading lady in your film is a mean lesbian-dabbling assh*le of a person, you've got a problem. Nothing about her personality is something any of us would happily relate to. She's crappy at maintaining her sobriety, she is consistently at odds with her equally intolerable mother, friends, and girlfriend, and she's simply delusional.

Without giving away too much, let me just say that the person who wrote this story has crafted a world in which every human being you run into is a complete moron without a shred of common sense. As this woman's physical appearance begins to reach the condition depicted on the movie's poster, not a single person showed the concern that a normal person would. When someone appears to be rotting from the inside, her boss is not going to demand that she come into work anyway, and the girl who happens to be walking in a bag of their own deteriorating flesh and skin is not going to put her priority on working overtime. Even the doctor she went to for help looked right at her bloody eyes and gave a confused diagnosis, while just advising her to quarantine herself for the time being. Her condition warranted an immediate visit to the ER, not a free clinic checkup, as any person with average intelligence could see. Not once, but TWICE, this main character convinces two other characters to kiss her on her disgustingly black-molding and clearly infected lips. How dumb are the people who made this movie? Every character has been specially crafted to lack any resemblance to a sensible real-life person.

I understand that suspending disbelief is vital for enjoying the horror genre, but I could not do that with regard to the atrocious character development on display in this film. I highly recommend avoiding 'Contracted' like the cinematic plague that it is.
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