tadpole-596-918256 Review of Cave of Forgotten Dreams

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2010)

Since "String Theory" proves the existence of the FLINTSTONES . . .

[6/10 · 8 July 2014]

. . . (we thought them, therefore they were), one would expect some startling revelations from a film entitled CAVE OF FORGOTTEN DREAMS. While it's true that writer\director\narrator Werner Herzog digresses into irradiated albino alligators about 86 minutes into this 90-minute film, this seemingly drug-induced Non Sequitar says more about the state of HIS mind than it does about the FLINTSTONES'. Now, when "Chauvet Cave" was rediscovered 20 years ago in France, it would have been actual news IF the original explorers had found paintings of UFO's, or depictions of AK-47's, or blueprints for pyramids, or perhaps one of Shakepeare's sonnets plastered on its walls. Instead, the interior of this cavern (which had been sealed off by a rock slide for 10,000 years) contained about what you'd expect: crude graffiti scrawled by male chauvinist vandals, mildewed and smeared by 100 centuries of the sort of water damage plaguing homeowners with "wet" basements. Instead of hiring "art" restorers to salvage this as a potential tourist attraction (think Mammoth Cave or Carlsbad Caverns here in the U.S.), the French are planning to clone the hole and its decayed scribblings for a created-from-scratch theme park. Good luck with that! (Herzog SHOULD have made a movie about the dude briefly shown here who proves the tune to the STAR-SPANGLED BANNER was the world's first song: Maybe on the Seventh Day, God said, "Play Ball!")