8/10
On Yer Bike !
19 December 2014
The first and best of Swiss Czar of Carnality Erwin C. Dietrich's increasingly explicit "Swedish" skin flicks, a domestically popular porn series which was eventually to comprise four official entries, five if you count his acquisition of Ann Perry's all star US hardcore BALLGAME as "6 Swedish Girls Behind Bars" ! Funny thing about Dietrich. While trash film fans have accorded him a certain degree of street cred as producer of a number of Jess Franco's (comparatively) classier '70s skin flicks like JACK THE RIPPER and LOVE LETTERS OF A Portuguese NUN, there has always been considerably less love for the dozens of mostly generic gash grinders he churned out - usually as "Michael Thomas" - between 1968's costume pic DIE NICHTEN DER FRAU OBERST (remade more graphically in 1980) and 1982's AMOROUS SISTERS. Stopping just short of hardcore, for which he would press Continental pornographer Gérard Loubeau into duty as the German movie market grew more permissive, he adopted the gourmand's approach to his own personal brand of sex cinema which was almost entirely devoid of genuine eroticism but for its acres and acres of bared female skin.

Apart from an occasionally semi-serious foray into the fornication film field, such as the Lina Romay showcase ROLLS ROYCE BABY or his half-hearted WIP entry CAGED WOMEN, Dietrich usually went for the funny bone. Historically proved, this is not a territory that German-speaking countries excel at ! So if you're looking for a few hearty laughs along with your copious nudity, you should probably just keep on looking. That said, the guy's unpretentious undraped sagas make for surprisingly innocent entertainment in retrospect, all the more astonishing considering that far more explicit endeavors must have been breathing down Dietrich's neck while he was still reeling in (massive) audiences with what were basically "nudie cuties" with tons of healthy outdoors activities for his foxy female cast to engage in. Which brings us to these movies' strongest assets (ass-sets ?), i.e. their stunningly beautiful actresses, frequently culled from the French XXX field, for whom these mild activities amidst the Alps must have been a literal breath of fresh air.

We might just as well skim over any perceived complexities in the film's fragmented narrative (credited to Dietrich's nom de plume "Manfred Gregor"), as it basically consists of the Swedish sextet getting into mischief and - to quote the late great Kenny Everett - "all their clothes fall off", and focus on the fabulous femmes. Brigitte Lahaie is obviously the most recognizable of the lot and has her most memorable moment as she visits a local sex shop in search of a dozen dildo's (don't ask !) and starts to fantasize about what the exclusively male clientèle might do to her. Her close to 'core Sapphic scene with short-haired France Lomay (who would never look better than in her single American adult film, Fred Lincoln's 1983 THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!) is also nothing to sneeze at. The latter figures most prominently in the plot (such as it is) by inventing a most unusual bicycle equipped with pistoning penis that will be put to extensive employment by the tireless schoolgirls !

Nearing the end of a distinguished career in simulated sexing, Anne Libert looks almost anorexic as the not so stern headmistress, still able to "bring it" as she gives a fully clothed demonstration of sexual positions with muscle man gym teacher Mike Montana (from Franco's SEXY SISTERS) in sex ed class that ranks as one of the few encounters to actually raise temperatures. Busty Nadine Pascal was usually "Nadja Santos" or "Nadine Scant" on penetration pics but is better known for Franco's SADOMANIA and TWO FEMALE SPIES WITH FLOWERED PANTIES. Long-haired blonde Danielle Troger probably looks the most convincingly Scandinavian of the lot and was also an extremely active adult starlet throughout the '70s but little Elsa Maroussia (as reluctant virgin Selma) only went all the way once, in Claude Bernard-Aubert's blah BIG ORGY.

Photographic duties are divided between stalwart Andreas Demmer and his apprentice Rudi Küttel, who had done such a splendid job on Franco's Kitsch masterpiece BLUE RITA, with the first focusing more on the splendiferous surroundings while the latter would fearlessly probe the female private parts. As ever, Walter Baumgartner came on board for another perfectly pleasant and quite eclectic soundtrack to score the saucy shenanigans. What one must not forget is that Dietrich wasn't trying to beat the Bard with this undemanding bit o'froth. It used to play my local (long-gone) sex cinema semi-annually, almost always to packed houses, and no one ever asked for a refund ! Simply put, it does what it says on the tin, prime meat 'n potatoes porn that doesn't aspire to anything higher.
5 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed