Naked News (1999– )
Pure cringe-worthy cheese.
29 July 2015
From some dank basement in downtown Toronto, The Naked News has been delivering pop-culture cheddar to the Internet since 1999. For a monthly or yearly subscription fee, people can see lipstick feminists shaking their moneymakers all in the name of Girl Power.

Imagine Entertainment Tonight or some lurid sex show with nude women...that's The Naked News. 20-25 minutes, 6 times a week of "sexy" women reading off of a telestrator. You should see these women as a lot of them have massive egos and think they are worthy of having shrines built to them. The good and beautiful anchors are the ones who realize the whole racket is just to be tongue-and-cheek and not to be taken seriously (Eila Adams, Madison Banes, Angie Heyward, Carli Bei, Isabella Rossini) but the women who shove their agendas down people's throats are unbearable.

First, we have Katherine Curtis. Ms. Curtis is a self-proclaimed nerd and humorless ultra-leftist bitch who acts like she is above everyone. The entire time she shows up on camera she flaunts her massive ego and spews her ridiculous ultra leftist beliefs to everybody while thinking she still has a killer body. Back in 2007 she was hot stuff, now, not so much with the flabby backside. She is also a co-writer and co-producer (as is Eila) but you can tell what segments she wrote.

Next is Peyton Priestly, Ms. "I only eat organic food and support animal rights". Certainly a great all-natural body but a nasally and annoying voice and sporting a massive ego to boot.

Then we have her identical twin sister Whitney St. John, who is only there when school is out. She has fake bosoms, wears nerd glasses to show how "smart" she is and thinks she's a big deal. She talks like a school professor.

Finally we have Natasha Olenski and Andrea Sully, two women from the Eastern Bloc. Olenski is not beautiful at all unless you like bad breast augmentation and while Sully's work is better, her behind is as flat as a board and both have voices that grate on my ears.

Despite the motto "The Program With Nothing To Hide" the location of their studio is a guarded secret. Of course, they do come out and do topless interviews made possible by my province's Topfree laws. They do lame man-on-the-street interviews about trivial stuff to bemused people embarrassed to be on camera.

The real kicker is the forced repartee between the ladies. It's painful to watch. It sounds like a conversation between women who deep down hate each other's guts but must pretend to be buddies. When you watch the local news, you can tell there's camaraderie between the anchors. Not here. Then again, I wouldn't want to be near Ms. Curtis, Ms. Priestly or Ms. St. John, either. Nothing like being told what to do with you life, eh?

If you want to pay for an overpriced subscription to be bored to death half the time by women spewing leftist policies on their audiences just to see those anchors that don't take themselves seriously then go on ahead.
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