BMX Bandits (1983)
5/10
What an enjoyable bike wreck of a movie!
25 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
'If we'd grown up in Australia, BMX Bandits would have been our version of The Goonies' quote, fame director Quentin Tarantino. While, I don't agree with that statement by Tarantino. I have to somewhat agree with him in one thing. It was indeed, a fun nostalgia trip! Made before the X-Games was a thing and way after 1972's motorcycle documentary, "On Any Sunday'. "BMX Bandit' was a movie that really try to capitalize on the Australians' BMX craze which took off in the early 1980s. Made in the middle of the whole Ozploitation New Wave movement (late 1970s to late 1980s). 'BMX Bandits' is a 1983 kid film that, probably most famous now, as one of the films that a young Nicole Kidman, starred in, before her big breakthrough role, in 1989's 'Dead Calm'. Directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith, the film tells the story of three young BMX riders, P.J. (Angelo D'Angelo), Goose (James Lugton), and Judy (Nicole Kidman), being entangled with a group of bank robbers, when they stole a carton of stolen police walkie-talkies, the gangsters were using to loot. Without spoiling the movie, too much, the first thing, I notice about this film is the really bad pacing issues. For a film about BMX bikes, you really don't see much of it, until the climax of the film. Most of the other parts of the film, has the teens doing a lot of illegal acts like stealing fish traps, vandalism, and other crimes to try to get money to get their bikes, fix, after a clichés obligatory nasty, nameless fat bully (Brian Sloman), cause them to wreck, their bikes with shopping carts, yet not their bodies. Second off, the movie has, this, long pointless really, out of place, horror scene, where the bad guys are chasing the teenagers, through a dark cemetery with scary looking masks. Was this movie, originally supposed to be a horror movie? It really seem, so! The character talk about scary films, way too much. It's like this movie didn't really had some sort of a identify, during the writing period, until they decided to go with the BMX theme, late in production. It's no wonder, why this movie was retitled, 'Short Wave' in America. After all, most of the film, has them, playing with the walkie talkies than riding their bikes. The movie is also, often criticized for having an odd unbalance mixer of Aussie slapstick style comedy and adult-driven action. The police in this film, are absolutely useless, and really doesn't do much, besides, play background chitchat and the rolling shenanigans of the Freddy Mercury and Billy Idol, knock offs, bad guys, Whitey (David Argue) and Moustache (John Ley), during the second and third parts of the film, really doesn't match up with the intense opening part of the film, which makes them, looking like a seriously threat. It's really hard to believe, these were the same guys that were in an intense gun-fight with police, a few minutes ago, during a bank heist, and now, they are, now getting pounded by bunch of preteen kids with bags of flour and soap bubbles. It get weirder for them, as the film had a memorable moment, where the BMX bikers, escape down the Manly Waterworks water slides, complete with BMX bikes, with the villains, coming after them. It's really, jarring, when you think, about it, because you would, think the bank robbers would be smarter than this. Anyways, that climatic silly chase through all of Sydney's stunning location really does go on forever. It got really tiresome, after a while. While the slapstick humor, didn't live up to my standards, at least, the weird dialogue jokes, did. The film had a lot of great one-liners from the three appealing young leads, even if their thick Australian accent, was hard to hear, at times. Their delivery can be a bit bizarre, because, the fact, that I'm American, born in the 1980s. I just wish, I knew, some of the often dated words or foreign slangs they were, often bantering. Who knew, that a trolley mean shopping cart in Australian English? I didn't! Anyways, most of the jokes were harmless and goofy in a fun kind of a way. Decked out in their bright color-coded flashy neon outfits, you really can tell, this was a 1980s film. After all, Nicole Kidman had big ratty red hair perm, seem to want to eat up, the scenery and the boys are often seem, wearing really short shorts. While, their acting was somewhat alright; I have to say, their bikes skills is a bit questionable, as three top BMX bike experts had to be, brought in, to replace the actors, during action scenes. It's sad, that the stunts are all performed with over-dramatized slow motion camera movement and bad sound effects. It really took me, out of the movie. Moreover, Nicole Kidman was doubled by an 18-year-old boy who wore a wig. It was really odd to watch, to watch her character played by a stunt man, do halfpipes ramp with the song, 'I see Boys' by Petra Gaffney playing in the background. Indeed, most the movie's music choices, don't really match, the tone of the film, at all. 'I'm Ready to Fly' (Kangaroo Hop) by the band, 'The Papers', is probably the worst. I had no clue, how the lyrics of the song, relate to what happening on film. That song is torturous. Overall: While, BMX Bandits offers an amusing good times to '80s freestyle bike culture with some bawdy humor and adventure. This movie is incredibly inferior to the 1986's film, 'Rad' in every way. It's good for a one time watch.
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