Heatseeker (1995)
4/10
Cyborgs fight and the viewer snoozes
26 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
After bypassing this for a couple of months I finally decided to rent it, thanks to the cool-looking video box cover (check out the IMDb for a picture). What I was expecting was some cheesy, science fiction TERMINATOR rip-off. What I got was some cheesy, low-budget rip-off of all those Van Damme kickboxing vehicles like BLOODSPORT. Albert Pyun, who also directed CYBORG, seems to be directing in his sleep here as he fails to shoot anything impressive or exciting, despite the copious amounts of violence on display.

This film actually looks like it's going to be pretty funny and different at the beginning, in scenes which have our hero running naked through a market after being attacked by bad guys and stripped by a gang of street urchins. Sadly, though, as soon as the martial arts tournament begins, we are subjected to repeated scenes of people kicking and fighting each other to the death. These fights are shot through some smoky haze (an old trick used to disguise low budgets) and lack even the minimal excitement that Van Damme offered in his heyday. The silly science fiction plot seems to have been grafted on to this film as an excuse to have the losers of the fights display some sub-imitation TERMINATOR wounds, i.e. to show bits of metal sticking out of their faces, legs, hands, you name it. The first time we see this, it's cool, but the fifth or sixth time is just silly. These moments come complete with a crackling noise supposedly meant to signify electronics inside the cyborgs exploding.

I'd give the scriptwriter credit, as at least he does try to add some actual "plot" to the film to keep it moving and give it suspense, but all he does is steal a plot twist from KICKBOXER instead (hero must lose final round or his brother/lover will be killed) and use that. The cast list is a veritable who's who of cheesy sci-fi/horror movies. Appearing are Tim Thomerson in a cameo role (complete with dyed bright red hair) as a sponsor, an aged RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD's Thom Mathews as a corrupted fighter whose physique just doesn't cut it, genre staple Gary Daniels as the mean, muscular bad dude, old-timer Norbert Weisser (complete with yellow contact lenses, why?) as the chief baddie and no-name Tina Cote as the love interest with a short haircut. The hero is played by Keith Cooke, who on inspection turns out to be a stuntman as well as a fighter, so that gives you some idea of his acting skills.

There's a lot of build up to the final fight between Daniels and Cooke here, but the last scenes are so pathetic that they'll leave you feeling cheated. The guys battle for a while, Daniels gets quickly beaten, and then in a flash of quick editing, all of the bad guys are either killed or knocked unconscious. This scene happens so quickly that it's impossible to work out what's going on unless you play it in slow motion - I hate it when that happens. HEATSEEKER is a typical piece of martial arts nonsense packed with all the violence that the sub-genre brings, but offering up nothing in the way of originality or excitement. Worth watching only for the amusingly cheesy TERMINATOR rip-off make up.
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