In the Spider's Web (2007 TV Movie)
3/10
One for the bargain bin
5 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Without a doubt one of the dumbest horror films to have been released in recent years, IN THE SPIDER'S WEB is a bad movie through-and-through. Blighted by a low budget and talentless cast, an appalling director and a story that apparently runs out around 30 minutes in, this is a good example of the kind of Z-movie that gets made for television in the modern era. Although it was supposedly shot in Thailand, you couldn't tell because this is an unconvincing, set-bound jungle extravaganza all the way. What little story exists concerns some backpacking tourists falling foul of a local madman. There's some mixed-up stuff in here about tribal rituals and organ donation but to be honest by the time this stuff comes about you couldn't care less. It's all so unbelievable and every character so unappealing that the only thing you'll be doing is watching for the film to end.

As with most Z-grade flicks like this, they manage to pull in one popular and recognisable actor, typically a Hollywood star back in the day, who's now down on his luck doing anything for a dollar. Lance Henriksen is the actor here, looking old and tired, saddled with a Halloween horror hand for no discernible reason and playing the brother of a web-masked weirdo who enjoys slicing up visiting tourists (well, who wouldn't?). The eventual unmasking of this wacko is one of a couple of decent horrible moments, the other being the bit where a girl is besieged by eight-legged insects. Suffice to say, the effects are appalling bad, ranging from cardboard and rubber spiders to awful CGI animations, whereas the spider webs look like bits of cast-off rag.

Stupidity is the order of the day, along with minor titillation as the leading character spends a lot of time dressed in Lara Croft-style shorts and top. Low lights include the characters using a spider's web as a rope bridge (?) and bad acting by almost the entire cast. Aside from Henriksen, the only halfway decent performance comes from Sohrab Ardeshir, who does quite well in a comic relief turn as an intrepid police sergeant. Otherwise, IN THE SPIDER'S WEB is bargain bin stuff, a godawful attempt at a horror flick that stalls from the very beginning. This one stinks!
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