6/10
Go Go Technodrome.
14 October 2016
Mindless, superhero, brain candy, zoom. Bad jokes, great effects, explosions go boom.

My neck muscles are tighter than piano wires and I've sweated enough this week to fill a swimming pool. At the end of a long week of mad work, sometimes you just want to sit down and switch off your brain.

So, thank you, turtles. I like it when you hit stuff.

Is this a dumb movie? The obvious answer is yes, of course it's dumb, it's more superhero schlock: kiddie-fare enjoyed by 30-somethings.

But I don't know. Any fight scene with martial arts is a bit like a magician's sleight of hand. It's too fast to follow completely, but if done well we can see sophistication in the movement, and a fight is a bit of a story in itself. There's the setup, escalation of conflict, then boom, resolution. The best parts of this movie are not of the turtles talking but when things go all smashy-smash-smash. Smash.

Smash.

Where the film drags is with its human characters, who have way too much screen time. Casey Jones is a 30-something who talks like a 12-year-old ("Someday, I'm going to be a detective!") and Shredder, regrettably, is mostly without his mask and doesn't throw a single pie. Megan Fox is wearing less makeup this time around, but in "acting," less is more. Baxter Stockman is likable, but doesn't turn into a giant fly.

But it's inoffensive, fun to look at, and a nice thing to shut your brain off to while recovering from a long week of sweaty haste.
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