Only in the 1980s could we get something this gloriously deranged and utterly idiotic. It's flashy, and it's dumb, and it's obviously proud to be so. It's essentially a "junior James Bond" as John "Uncle Jesse" Stamos plays Lance Stargrove, a college athlete whose dad Drew (one time Bond George Lazenby) is a spy. Dad isn't THAT great at his job, though, managing to get killed by the movies' villain. And what a doozy this villain is. He/she is Velvet Von Ragner (rock star Gene Simmons), a hermaphroditic megalomaniac with a legion of followers who look like refugees from a "Mad Max" knock-off. Lance determines to get some revenge, hooking up with our leading lady, Danja Deering (supremely sexy Vanity), just one of dads' "associates".
This one is pretty bad, all right, but that doesn't mean it ain't entertaining. The action scenes are decent enough, the stunts and camera work especially effective. The costumes on the henchmen are absolutely hilarious. The upbeat pop soundtrack consists of some pretty rancid cheese, yet unfortunately it will stick in your head, especially the title theme song. Director Gil Bettman ("Crystal Heart", "Night Vision") works from a terminally silly script credited to Steven Paul (of "Slapstick (Of Another Kind)" infamy) and Anthony Foutz, that is wise to include some very alluring scenes with Vanity, as well as the kind of gadgetry we often come to expect in an espionage thriller.
Stamos is okay as the hero, no more; he lacks a strong screen presence. Vanity definitely fares better. Supporting roles and bits are played by the likes of John Anderson ("Psycho" '60), Ed Brock (in his one and only movie role), Peter Kwong ("Big Trouble in Little China"), Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund (wasted in a nothing part), Tara Buckman ("Silent Night, Deadly Night", "The Cannonball Run"), Patrick Wright ("Track of the Moon Beast"), and Branscombe Richmond ("Hard to Kill"). But this thing really belongs to Simmons, who clearly realized he was doing a p.o.s. movie, and gives it some flair by camping it up something fierce as the bad guy / gal.
Recommended mainly to completists who'll gladly lap up the craziest things that the 80s had to offer.
Five out of 10.
This one is pretty bad, all right, but that doesn't mean it ain't entertaining. The action scenes are decent enough, the stunts and camera work especially effective. The costumes on the henchmen are absolutely hilarious. The upbeat pop soundtrack consists of some pretty rancid cheese, yet unfortunately it will stick in your head, especially the title theme song. Director Gil Bettman ("Crystal Heart", "Night Vision") works from a terminally silly script credited to Steven Paul (of "Slapstick (Of Another Kind)" infamy) and Anthony Foutz, that is wise to include some very alluring scenes with Vanity, as well as the kind of gadgetry we often come to expect in an espionage thriller.
Stamos is okay as the hero, no more; he lacks a strong screen presence. Vanity definitely fares better. Supporting roles and bits are played by the likes of John Anderson ("Psycho" '60), Ed Brock (in his one and only movie role), Peter Kwong ("Big Trouble in Little China"), Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund (wasted in a nothing part), Tara Buckman ("Silent Night, Deadly Night", "The Cannonball Run"), Patrick Wright ("Track of the Moon Beast"), and Branscombe Richmond ("Hard to Kill"). But this thing really belongs to Simmons, who clearly realized he was doing a p.o.s. movie, and gives it some flair by camping it up something fierce as the bad guy / gal.
Recommended mainly to completists who'll gladly lap up the craziest things that the 80s had to offer.
Five out of 10.